Lynda Loveland: The Talk

I was clueless about puberty and the birds and the bees until probably junior high.

Nowadays kids are far more informed and their maturing physically much faster. That scares the crap outta me!

I knew it was coming when we went to Disney last year. My 8-year-old daughter walks into a packed bathroom with me, and, while waiting in line, checks out the feminine protection machine on the wall.

She really studied it. One eyebrow went up, then the other. Then comes the question in a very loud, inquisitive voice.

"Mom, what's a tampoon?"

Muffled laughter comes rolling out of every single stall. I told her it was pronounced tampon, and I'd explain it when we had more time.

Just the other day she asked me what happens during puberty. Holy crap!

Well, I need to put on my game face because it's time.

I'm gonna tackle puberty first. I figure I'll keep it simple and answer any questions she might have. MIGHT have? Who am I kidding? She's gonna pepper me with 'em! Maybe we should do it "Jeopardy" style.

Time to strap in. I'm entering a whole new realm of parenting.