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Go Ask Mom

Lynda Loveland: The Talk

Posted March 28, 2013

Lynda Loveland

I was clueless about puberty and the birds and the bees until probably junior high.

Nowadays kids are far more informed and their maturing physically much faster. That scares the crap outta me!

I knew it was coming when we went to Disney last year. My 8-year-old daughter walks into a packed bathroom with me, and, while waiting in line, checks out the feminine protection machine on the wall.

She really studied it. One eyebrow went up, then the other. Then comes the question in a very loud, inquisitive voice.

"Mom, what's a tampoon?"

Muffled laughter comes rolling out of every single stall. I told her it was pronounced tampon, and I'd explain it when we had more time.

Just the other day she asked me what happens during puberty. Holy crap!

Well, I need to put on my game face because it's time.

I'm gonna tackle puberty first. I figure I'll keep it simple and answer any questions she might have. MIGHT have? Who am I kidding? She's gonna pepper me with 'em! Maybe we should do it "Jeopardy" style.

Time to strap in. I'm entering a whole new realm of parenting.

Lynda is the mom of three kids and co-host of 101.5 WRAL-FM's The Mix Morning Show. Find her here on Thursdays. Click here to see her on Facebook.


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  • kcastleberry Mar 30, 2013

    I was going to suggest the same book by American Girl, The Care & Keeping of You. It's a great book. I'm glad we had the talk early because my daughter went into full blown (you know what I mean)puberty right after turning 10. She was wearing a size 34C bra at the time! We had the talk around 8 because she was asking questions.

  • chpiagirl Mar 29, 2013

    I second the comment about the American Girl book, "The Care & Keeping of You (for younger girls)." I just read it together with my 7 yr old daughter when she started asking questions and it was a great book to read and discuss for puberty, etc.

  • mlslawter75 Mar 29, 2013

    We had the "talk" last year with our daughter who is now 9. We had just had our second baby a while before and there was a lull. Then when #2 was 7 months old we were pregnant again. Questions were asked, inquiries were made and we had the talk. There was no giggling, no laughing from her, just wanting to know more. We also found a book from one of the local stores about girls and taking care of their bodies. That helped a tremendous amount. With all the changes, and puberty coming earlier it seems,(we have a friend with a 9 year old who just started full blown puberty), we decided it was time. If one of us wasn't around, say she was at school and things started to happen, we wanted her to be prepared and not scared. She took it very well, again asking questions. I don't know if there is a "right" age. My dad tried to wait until high school for me. That was hilarious and by then a little too late given health class had informed us all of more than what he thought I knew.

  • 321anut Mar 28, 2013

    Lynda...Forget this boring stuff. Weren't you supposed to post your pics from your 2nd honeymoon? That's what we r talking about!

  • warmfuzzz Mar 28, 2013

    I'm happy I didn't have to have that talk with mine at that age, but if she is asking then it's time. Try this site for help.

  • kittiboo Mar 28, 2013

    I'm facing similar issues with my very inquisitive 5 year old. She's a smart cookie, and I don't mind telling her the truth and some details (she is NOT satisfied with those simple answers and will KEEP ASKING more and more difficult questions!). My problem is that she has a BIG mouth, and I don't want to be the mom whose kid told the whole class every detail of how reproduction works! It's hard to decide how much to divulge while not making everything out to be a big secret.

  • JAT Mar 28, 2013

    A quick answer will usually satisfy them - they aren't seeking a detailed explanation, just something to satisfy their momentary curiosity.

  • thinkb4speak Mar 28, 2013

    Lynda - You do need to keep it simple at this age and most importantly be honest. I also made it clear to my girls that when we had those discussions the information shared was not to be spread around school and with friends in the neighborhood. I told them that these types of conversations were special between a parent and child and that every parent picks a different time to talk to their kids and we didn't want to ruin that. There is a REALLY good book out that can help with the puberty stuff and early questions. It is by American Girl and is called "The care and keeping of you". It is written in language and picture appropriate for young girls. It is a great conversation starter. I would ask my girls what they were reading about and then start talking to them about that subject. It was casual and comfortable. Good luck.

  • lilypony Mar 28, 2013

    If you only answer the specific question they get the answer they want and that's it. Don't do "the talk" until it's time. Even then you can get into only what's needed that day.

    Just a couple days ago my almost-6 year old daughter wanted to know where babies came from. From bellies. How do they get in there? God puts them there. How do they get out? Your bottom. Eeeeewww and that was it.

    I am just really nonchalant about it and answer only what's asked without divulging anything extra. It gives them a sense of comfort that I hope as they grow will let them know that things are really not a big deal. Nothing to be ashamed about or hide. Big thing is I will never overwhelm them with more info than they're emotionally ready to process at that time.