Log in to WRAL.com with one click using your favorite social network:
OR
Log in using your WRAL.com account:



Wrong email/password combination.

Forgot password?

Register with WRAL.com using your favorite social network:
OR
Register for a WRAL.com account using our web form.

7:12 p.m. • 5-25-13

Weather Forecast for Raleigh

  • Sun: Partly Cloudy.
    • Hi: 75° F
  • Mon: Partly Cloudy.
    • Hi: 80° F
  • Tue: Thunderstorm.
    • Hi: 85° F

Other Locations

> 7 Day Forecast

Doppler Image
Go Ask Mom
Lynda Loveland

[search] Site Search

print friendly

Lynda Loveland: The punishment!

By Lynda Loveland

Published: 2012-11-07 20:50:00
Updated: 2012-11-07 21:20:42

Posted: November 7, 2012

Tags: Lynda Loveland, Mom's Life, Parenting

Once upon a time, there was a nine-year-old girl who was banned from trick-or-treating for bad behavior. But, since she felt she was more important than any old punishment, she snuck out anyway.

After her angry parents caught her red-handed at the door dressed as the big, bad wolf, they decided to wait to discipline her and give her punishment some thought. This girl was already under a month-long electronics ban and had her toys removed from her room. Grounding her never really worked and soccer was already over. What would truly make this girl “care” about what she did wrong?

Hmmm.

Did I mention this young lady was a tomboy and girly stuff repulsed her?

Hmmm.

“I know," said her father. “We can make her wear a dress every day to school for a week!”

At first her mother wasn’t on board, but the more she thought about it, the more she thought it might work.

After a quick shopping trip, the trick-or-treating tomboy showed up to school Monday in a skirt, a cute one even! Her father had already removed extra clothes from her backpack that she’d brought as a backup. But she still took off her skirt and wore just her leggings.

Lesson learned. Her parents picked out dresses for her to wear the rest of the week.

Some may think these parents are humiliating their daughter. I say they’re simply making her care about making bad choices when she didn’t care before. It is her parents job to raise her to be a well-mannered, productive member of society.

Lynda is the mom of three and co-host of Mix 101.5 WRAL-FM's Bill & Lynda in the Morning. Find her here on Thursdays. Click here to like her on Facebook.

 

Copyright 2012 by Capitol Broadcasting Company. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Read More Posts from this Blog

33 Comments


WRAL.com welcomes your comments on this story. All comments are moderated prior to publication based on our posting guidelines. Please review them prior to posting and if your message is not approved.

This story is closed for comments. Comments on WRAL.com news stories are accepted and moderated between the hours of 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. Monday through Friday.

page 1 | 2
<prev    next>
sort order: oldest first | newest first
I get that this is your blog and you can write about whatever you want but here is the kicker. Sharing this information about your child is disrespectful to her. I listen to your show every morning and when I heard about it I was quite taken aback by the fact that you were discussing what she did wrong and what kind of punishment she should get and I thought it was wrong and very disrespectful for her. Sharing cute stories and funny stories is great but this type of event is and should be private. Her punishment also involved a shopping trip which hardly seems like a punishment in my book. I get that wearing a dress is not what she wants to do but still you went out and spent good money on a punishment. You made the decision to be a public figure, if you will, but your daugther on the other hand has not, so again this matter should have been kept private. I also disagreed with the psychologist who said this really wasn't a big deal - it was a very big deal and very dangerous.
HereswhatIthink
November 8, 2012 1:56 p.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
You are the parent of your child. What works for your child might not be the same thing that works for others children. I haven't read the other posts here today but I'm sure you're catching a lot of flack for your choice. I do not condemn you, I applaud you for making the punishment mean something to the person for whom its intended. If it gets the message across to her then job well done. What works for these other folks kids is for them to decide.
Click to view my profile Glass Half Full
November 8, 2012 1:22 p.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
Why are you posting this on the Internet? They won't be little kids forever. Before you know it other kids will be reading about them online and teasing them.
kvasaturo
November 8, 2012 1:17 p.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
I say you and your spouse sit down with each other and figure out why a 9 year old disregards your directives as much as you suggest. Can you say 'serious issues of respect'?? Sneaking out at night without anyone's knowlege can be very dangerous for a nine year old child. Very un-cute!
vjayd
November 8, 2012 12:06 p.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
We had a similar problem with our daughter when she was younger. Her punisment wasa that her dad boxed up her room and except for plain sheets/blanket on the bed and 1 weeks worth of clothes. She had to earn each box back randomly one at a time. It took her 2 months but she seemed to learn her lesson.
mkjinx
November 8, 2012 11:57 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
John Rosemond suggests taking the child's bedroom door off the hinges until s/he figures out who's in charge.
storchheim
November 8, 2012 10:28 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
Americaneel why are you on this site if you do not like her stories? Just curious...Lynda I am more of an old fashioned mother where you spank your child not beat them but just a little spanking to get their attention. You raise your child the way you want to but I am glad you did punish her. I know you have sat her down and stressed she could have been kidnapped or even killed etc and that is wrong to sneak out. We all have different parenting skills and punishments but at least a few of us believe in punishment. I love your stories!!!! Good Luck to you and your husband.
Click to view my profile Twittyfan
November 8, 2012 10:26 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
I'm with you, Linda. When it comes to the discipline of your own child, my motto is "whatever works." Only you know your daughter, and only you can decide the best way to handle it. I've got a tomboy 10-yr-old girl as well, and I can tell you she would be MORTIFIED if I made her wear girly dresses all week!!! (Thanks for the idea, by the way, will have to keep it in mind for future reference!!)
Click to view my profile DWH4sure
November 8, 2012 10:26 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
Since she couldn't play games or watch tv, I made mine cleaning up the house, clean up her room, doing dishes, and even the bathroom... if she snucks out again, at least she will have the cleaning skill and to be independent... or at least I'll be happy with a clean house.
mmqfdd
November 8, 2012 9:55 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
I don't know, I'm kind of split on this one...

First, if the punishment works, all the better. (justbcauz spankings (one or two swats, open hand on the behind only) are still part of the arsenal here as well).

On the other hand, punishing her by making her act like a girl sounds a bit sexist to me. "You're not responsible so we're going to make you look like a girl!" It kinda, sorta sounds like, "If you want to act like one, you're going to dress like one!"
Click to view my profile clif4
November 8, 2012 9:13 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
I kinda like monstertrap's idea. Gives her an idea of what can be lurking out there and why rules are made and punishment follows when rules are broken. I never understood why my parents made such 'stupid' rules but as I got older it all made sense. Hang in there Lynda.
Click to view my profile LMRA
November 8, 2012 8:48 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
That would have been the Holy Moly punishment for my 10 yr old daughter as well. Can never get her to wear a skirt or dress to school. That's a good idea next time instead of taking away her DS or computer. Just make her wear dressy clothes. Good Job Lynda!
kellypratz
November 8, 2012 8:39 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
I definitely think embarrassment is a tool in a parents aresenal to help our children care about their actions. My friend's mom in high school told her 5 kids if they got caught skipping school she would use her vacation time from work to go sit in class with them. Needless to say, skipping school wasn't high on their list of rebellious activities! My biggest concern about this situation is the danger of a 9 year old going out unbeknownst to her parents-especially a night child predators easily blend into the crowd and any "stranger danger" radar your daughter has would have been turned off as it's a night when strangers are everywhere. My daughter hates writing assignments so I think I would have made her research 5 cases where children were kidnapped from their neighborhood and write a paper about what happened in those cases. Your punishment might work on the embarrassment scale but it doesn't really convey to her why what she did is dangerous. Thanks for sharing this story!
monstertrap
November 8, 2012 8:11 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
Lynda, great for u and hubby!, stick to your guns its a hard job raising kids theses days. mine are 12 & 6 and there are to many parents out there that want to be there buds instead of parents, not all but some and it makes are job harder when other kids are out of control and do anything they want and our kids see it. just sayin....
Click to view my profile mcorson2
November 8, 2012 7:54 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
That would have SO worked for me when I was that age! (Still would; it has to be a major event for me to wear a dress, even at my age (pushing 50 next month).
Click to view my profile outlawtaxi
November 8, 2012 7:28 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
Lynda, not everyone shares the same opinion as americaneel. I look forward to your posts every Thursday. Thanks for sharing
marandablomqvist
November 8, 2012 6:47 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
Stick to your guns Lynda! You are doing what all of us do - trying to deal with the children that God gave us. You and your husband know the best for your children and like the rest of us, you deal with it one punishment at a time to see what works for that child.
bjgupton
November 8, 2012 6:22 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
Americaneel, I wish I'd made it up. I didn't. Nor did I embellish. I can't tell you how many times I wish my life was more boring. Don't read my blog if you think I'm lying.
lloveland
November 8, 2012 5:06 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
one other thing...I think you and Amamba Lamb are competing for who can come up with the most intriguing made up stories to get responses. Hello!
americaneel
November 8, 2012 12:17 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
I think these stories are embellished and made up to spark interest amongst your so called fan base...Very lame attempt but I suppose your boss puts pressure on you to peak the interest. Sound accurate?
americaneel
November 8, 2012 12:03 a.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
We looked for appropriate punishment for our stubborn son. I know someone is going to call me a cruel parent but we took his shoes away! The cool shoes - he still had others to wear. This worked fairly well for a few years. Now have to find another method to keep him in line.
khughesnc
November 7, 2012 10:58 p.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
Having a stubborn, strong-willed 8-year-old daughter, I can totally relate to having a "difficult to discipline" child. We're still trying to determine a good, solid punishment that works for her...time-out, spankings (not beatings people, spankings), electronics ban, restrictions on outings/special activities/extracurriculars...none of these things seem to work. I think you have to find what works for your child and I think it is great that Lynda and her hubby found something that obviously bothered Campbell (otherwise, she wouldn't have tried to sneak back-up clothes and she wouldn't have just worn leggings on the first day). I doubt there is any punishment that would convey to a tween how serious her offense was and why, but at least this punishment will be memorable and may prompt her to think a little more carefully the next time she considers breaking the rules.
Click to view my profile justbcauz
November 7, 2012 10:24 p.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
Sorry Lynda but I do not agree with your approach. Sneaking out and lying are big offenses that need a serious punishment. Of course I don't know all of the details or your child but I would want to put the fear of God in my child if he committed the same offenses.

Being alone at night without your parents knowing your location at nine years old is a very dangerous situation. There are predators that go around looking for children. Not to mention what if something minor happened like she fell or got lost.

Nine is not too young to visit a police station or fire station and learn about these dangers from a professional. I would rather scare her some now than have the unthinkable happen down the road.

Best of luck:)
pss3
November 7, 2012 9:44 p.m.
[abuse] Report abuse
page 1 | 2
<prev    next>
sort order: oldest first | newest first
Sarah Lindenfeld Hall
Meet Sarah Hall
GoAskMom Editor

Video

••• 
←→

  • The students and staff at Cedar Fork Elementary star in a music video to capture their journey of learning for this year. The lyrics…

  • Leeann Eagle talks about her business creating personalized and appliqued apparel for kids.

  • Check out the scene at our big playdate featuring Artspace, Lil' Chef, the Chick-fil-A cow, Rissi Palmer, the Wake County Sheriff's…

  • Cristin DeRonja, director of the SAFEchild Advocacy Center and a Raleigh mom of four, tells us that listening to your children is…

  • LeeAnn Donnelly of Biltmore talks about the estate in Asheville and spots that families shouldn't miss when the visit.

  • Anna Norton, a Cary mom, talks about her journey with Type 1 diabetes, her involvement in Diabetes Sisters and the nonprofit's…

  • The city celebrates the grand reopening of its historic carousel on Saturday, April 20.

  • Julie Stoner, a Raleigh mom of two, will compete in her first Boston Marathon on Monday.

  • Go Ask Mom editor Sarah Lindenfield Hall talks with WRAL about preparing for a half marathon and how running can help moms stay…

  • Cristin DeRonja of SAFEchild in Wake County talks about the agency's program called Funny Tummy Feelings, which teaches kids skills…

  • Mary Poole, Artspace executive director, talks about the collection of artist studios and galleries in downtown Raleigh and why it's…

  • Beatrice Diaz, a mom of four in Chapel Hill, talks about her business Absolute Joy.

  • The best part about the playground at north Raleigh's Optimist Park is it's in the shade. And when the kids get too hot, you can just…

  • Cristin DeRonja, director of the SAFEchild Advocacy Center, talks about the programs offered at the Wake County nonprofit.

  • Cristin DeRonja, director of the SAFEchild Advocacy Center in Raleigh, talks about the four kinds of child abuse and what you can do…

  • Robyn Bennai and Liz Lemons, Raleigh moms, talk about their venture - shopbidgive.com - which provides an online home for silent…

  • Buffaloe Road Athletic Park, home to the Buffaloe Road Aquatics Center, also features a small playground.

  • Rosalind Baglio, manager of the Chapel Hill boutique, talks about what the store offers. It's part of the Women's Birth & Wellness…


GoAskMom Camp Guide promo 320x110

Resources

more
Smart Shopper, Faye Prosser
more