Go Ask Mom

Go Ask Mom

Lynda Loveland: Overprotective and overdone

Posted April 3, 2013

Lynda Loveland

We all want to protect our kids, but good grief, things have gotten out of hand, WAY out of hand!

A New Hampshire school district banned dodgeball as part of their anti-bullying campaign. We all grew up with dodgeball. We were all a target at one time or another. Give me a break! Maybe we should take away Nerf guns and water guns while we’re at it.

Let me clarify something though. Real cases of bullying need to be dealt with. I think the term bullying is used far too generically to describe incidents that are just normal kid behavior. I can’t even begin to count how many times in elementary school I was teased for being freakishly tall. While it may not be nice, I betcha it’s happened for hundreds of years. (Remember Nelly picking on Laura on Little House on the Prairie?)

Schools in the UK are banning kids from having best friends. They’re encouraging kids to play in large groups. Why? So nobody gets their feelings hurt.

How stinkin’ stupid is that? Banning best friends??? What would you do without your best bud? There’s always someone we tend to bond with more than others, someone we want to spend time with. Plus, if you ban best friends what do you do with all those necklaces?

And a middle school in Massachusetts banned awards ceremonies because the principal didn’t want the kids who didn’t get anything to feel badly. Are you freakin’ kidding me?

So the kids who worked their butts off don’t get recognized for fear some of the other kids who didn’t lift a pencil all year would be sad? Absolutely ridiculous!

Guess what? That’s life! If we don’t start letting kids fail, fall and freak out, they’ll enter the adult world without a single coping tool. Parents are setting themselves up to follow their kids around their whole life to make everything fair and happy for them.

Is that how we’re supposed to raise our children? Heck no! We’re supposed to raise them to be independent and responsible members of the community.

Enough of the extreme coddling!

Lynda is the mom of three and co-host of WRAL-FM's The Mix Morning Show. Find her here on Thursdays. Click here to like her on Facebook.


Please with your account to comment on this story. You also will need a Facebook account to comment.

Oldest First
View all
  • 321anut Apr 6, 2013

    lorit521...brown noser

  • carousel mom Apr 5, 2013


  • Killian Apr 5, 2013

    321anut - could you please go troll somewhere else? You're boring the people who come here to read Lynda's column and have rational discussion.

    I'll admit to not being a fan of dodgeball, but only because of the potential for facial/head injuries. But it's gone way too far when schools ban the concept of "best friends". And how do they even police that?

  • Terkel Apr 5, 2013

    A point that seems to be unaddressed is that the mean kids who throw the ball hard at the weaker, smaller ones are likely to be friendless once their patterns are established. The mean kids who did this at my school were disliked and shunned by everyone but their own little clique and the boys whom they allowed to "cop feels". Even the other parents disliked "the clique".

    If the mean kids figure out why they have no friends and make a new start in HS, so much the better. IIRC, even Dudley managed a decent word to Harry Potter in the last book.

  • BaseBallMommy Apr 5, 2013

    Kudos to Lynda for stating what a lot of us are thinking! Once we started focusing on kids self esteem instead of teaching them to cope is when everything has gone down hill in my opinion. I know some kids that their parents took them out of everything they didn't enjoy or do well now as adults the kids are struggling with dealing with college teachers and coaches. Kids need to learn that if you want to be recognized for something then do something worth being recognized for. Not just for breathing!

  • br549znc Apr 5, 2013

    There have always been some who are smarter, stronger, faster, etc. than others, and that is the way it will always be. As a wise teacher once told me..."Life is not fair. If anyone has told you it is they have done you a great injustice".

  • Killian Apr 4, 2013

    I agree totally. When the 17th place trophy is the same size as the 1st place, it teaches kids not to try.

    Real life is not about unlimited chances, and your boss is not going to be ok with you just showing up. Kids need to learn how life works.

  • sohappy Apr 4, 2013

    Linda - I totally agree with you!!! Kids today are to coddled. They do not have to be responsible for anything....Mommy and Daddy will fix it! It was "ok" for us growing up... I know times change - but at this rate our futher generations will be useless nothing more than stepping stones....

  • Sundays Child Apr 4, 2013

    Linda, just say what's on your mind and don't dilly dally!

  • lorit521 Apr 4, 2013 is a great article that Appalachian State referenced in their parent association newsletter. Goes well with you article Lynda!