Go Ask Mom

Go Ask Mom

Lynda Loveland: Our own worst enemy!

Posted May 8, 2013

Lynda Loveland

Do you think fathers are as hard on themselves as mothers?

Heck no! NO one is as critical on us as we are. I'm talking about stress and how we love to use it against ourselves.

I just read a survey of 7,000 moms detailing what stressed them. A full 75 percent of them said THEY are the cause of their own stress. Why? Because they're trying to be perfect and there's no balance in their life.

Kinda thought that number would be more like 90 percent. We worry about not spending enough time with the kids, the house being clean enough, doing well at work and being a good wife.

Shoot, I even stress about stressing too much!

When I'm home, I have the hardest time just sitting down and chillin'. Our sofa probably has at least 100,000 butt hours on it, but I've only contributed a dozen or so. I always feel I have to get something done.

My husband is always telling me to take some "me" time. I finally did the other day. I watched two episodes of The Following, back to back. I enjoyed it, but I felt SO guilty! I kept thinking of all the things I could have done in two hours.

It's sick, I know.

With Mother's Day coming up, I've been thinking about what my kids will remember about me. They're sure as heck not going to remember if I kept the house spotless. I have three kids and three dogs. It's NEVER going to happen. But they will remember if I'm a stressed out, frazzled mess!

Lynda is the mom of three kids and co-host of Mix 101.5 WRAL-FM's The Mix Morning Show. Find her here on Thursdays. Click here to see her Facebook page.


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  • missparrothead May 10, 2013

    Do yourself a BIG FAVOR and STOP!!! I'm 46 yrs old, have 2 kids, work FT, and guess what?? My body is now very broken, as I've had mono since December. This is something you do NOT want. I will not and cannot return to my former ways. If you saw me, you'd say, wow..she looks healthy, etc. Life is too short, and I've really learned a lesson.

  • 123dnih May 9, 2013

    Knightwolf...Feel sorry for you based on your comment. You will find someone soon, maybe.

  • Knightwolf May 9, 2013 wonder men don't understand women.

  • raleighboy524 May 9, 2013


  • 2alegal May 9, 2013

    I agree with mdw. How can "they" pull their load? Who exactly is they? Last time I checked, YOU were the one having the baby(ies). YOU chose that. Did "they" make you have the baby(ies)? Don't think so. Get with it. Pull "YOUR" load.

  • mdwrfw May 9, 2013

    Wow! free2bleigh, do you really feel it is the communities role to help you raise your family? How exactly do they do this? How sad it is to me that we live in a society that seems to feel more and more that our responsibilities and obligations should be shouldered by some one else.I would love to hear from other mothers about how they react to your comment.

  • free2bleigh May 9, 2013

    I take issue with "they" are causing their own stress. It is stressful to raise children and keep my house food grade safe, but it would be less stressful if the "they" around me pulled their load as a society. And that expands much farther than just family, but my community, profession and culture as well.

  • mdwrfw May 9, 2013

    As a mother of 3 and grandmother to 6, I am om the fence about the whole "me time"......I never ( well, rarely) had time to myself. I had a lot "us" time,playing with them, reading to them, chauffeuring them everywhere. Was I frazzled ? Yes. On the rare occcasions I did have a little time on my own I felt guilty too, but I have realized over the years that the happiest times in my life came from nurturing and caring for my family, even if it came in the form of folding laundrey or separating fighting siblings. Now, with my grandchildren I get the special blessing of being able to do this again. "Me time" is overrated, buckle up and enjoy the crazy, bumpy, annoying, but ever so sweet ride of being there as your children grow up. Trust me, they will appreciate it.