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Lynda Loveland: OMG! So this is how it feels!

Posted February 20, 2013

Lynda Loveland

I had a bit of a parenting epiphany this week.

As you’ve probably seen in many of my posts, my husband and I have been working really hard on misbehavior and discipline in our home … with our kids, not each other. It’s been very stressful at times and lots of ups and downs but, it’s starting to pay off!

I used to dread taking all three kids out anywhere by myself. Keeping them all together and controlled was a sweaty job. (Not like I was sweatin’ all over the place but when your body temperature goes up and you get a little hot under the collar). I just tried to avoid it at all costs. I wanted to wait them out until they got a little older and settled down a bit.

Earlier this week, I had to take them all to the library. My son was getting some tutoring and, the way it worked out, I had to take everyone. Normally, I spend the hour working, actually accomplishing something. But this time I was dreading it. I thought the girls would distract my son and he would start misbehaving. I was worried the girls would be loud and all over the place.

The reality was my son worked hard the whole time, as he’s been doing, the girls were good and I got my work done!!!

My husband worked late that night, so on the way home I told the kids they needed to do x, y and z so we could eat dinner, do chores, clean up and get to bed on time. And I’ll be darned if they didn’t do it!

It’s not like I changed anything. It’s as though it finally clicked. It was the first time I wasn’t stressed and I enjoyed our evening! Everyone worked together and it felt fantastic! I thought, wow, so this is what a functional family feels like!!!

I don’t expect it to happen every night, but it sure was nice to get a taste of it.

Lynda is the mom of three and co-host of Mix 101.5 WRAL-FM's Bill & Lynda in the Morning. Find her here on Thursdays. Click here to see her on Facebook.

9 Comments

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  • bhenderson Feb 21, 1:30 p.m.

    I was a single parent when my two sons were 11 mos. and 2 yrs. I had to take them with me everwhere I went. I never had any problems with them. If they started to sing at the table when we were eating out, I would let them know that they had to be quiet because the other people in the restaurant didn't want to have their meal ruined when they were paying to go out to eat. I think that it is always good to "explain" things to them. They understand. When my boys were 4 and 5 I went to hear a psychologist speak on raising small children. When I heard these 6'2" dads describing how they/their wives could not get their two year old to bed and what a hard time they were having, I had to laugh to myself. I left there thinking "man, I don't have any problems". You just have to start out and hold out how you want them to behave.

  • Pilot-42 Feb 21, 10:16 a.m.

    So, you are saying there is hope for me and my two boys?! There is hope that I won't end an outing crying (me and the kids)? Oh Thank you Lynda! I really needed to hear that.

  • terri1of8 Feb 21, 9:41 a.m.

    It's definitely nice when you see the fruits of your labor! Don't forget, though, that they will still have times when they will need your correction/parental input and it won't go so smoothly. It's important to remember that you are a good parent for being diligent. Kids aren't perfect, of course, and they need parents. If it comes easy to some kids, it doesn't make their parents better, it just gives those parents an easier job!! They don't even know it, they just think they did something superior. Shhh! We don't want to hurt those parents' feelings...

  • hihuwatlu Feb 21, 9:19 a.m.

    Did you do something for them or tell them you noticed? Kids always get attention when they are misbehaving but sometimes we forget (or are scared to ruin a good thing) to let them know when they make us happy or proud. Maybe an ice cream night or movie night is in order.

  • lec02572 Feb 21, 8:43 a.m.

    Parenting begins at a very young age. My wife and I had three children 2 boys (16 months apart) and a daughter six years later. We took our children everywhere with us malls, restaurants, library, sporting events, and on every vacation. We pointed out to them children where were misbehaving and described those children as "having no home training." I can honestly say we never had a behavior problem in public, or at school with any of the three. They are all grown now and are parenting in the same way and they are not getting the compliments of how well behaved their children are in public. No one is perfect, but children are just like anyone else, they will do exactly what you allow them to do.

  • sjeure Feb 21, 8:33 a.m.

    My wife left me and our two small children at the grocery store one time when the kids began to misbehave. She simply asked for the keys and drove home. We had to walk home, talk about hot and sweaty and being hot umnder the collar. Now 25 years later we all laugh when she asks for the keys and the kids starting shouting NO. Needless to say, we never misbehaved again!

  • computer trainer Feb 21, 8:05 a.m.

    Lynda, it is HARD being a good parent, but it sounds like you and the Big R are working hard to make sure that your children are good citizens. Thank you! You have NO IDEA how rare that is today. Most people will not do the hard work. They just let the kids run wild, and then wonder why they are in trouble all of the time. THANK YOU!!!!

  • trinity_quickblade Feb 20, 10:14 p.m.

    good job sticking to your guns! it feels nice as a parent when our kids behave and listen. kudos! :)

  • 321oohaw Feb 20, 10:08 p.m.

    How exciting...yawn