Lynda Loveland: Looking for chaos?

A few months back, I felt like I was on the brink of spinning out of control. Like when you hit some water driving down the highway. You feel the car start to hydroplane and you know if you make one wrong move you’ll be on the side of the road wheels up.

I have a full-time job, three young, very active kids, a husband, two dogs (now) and four guinea pigs. Into that mix I throw in: Exercise, gardening, keeping the house fairly clean and fairly clutter-free, a good dinner every night, kids soccer, kids karate, volunteering, kids appointments, errands and occasionally when the planets align, me time.

I’m off and running from 3:40 a.m. till 9:30 p.m., or so. This isn’t a “woe is me” story, and I know people have it worse. I’m just setting you up for my point.

I was making myself so busy, while I was doing one thing, I was already thinking about the next thing I needed to do! I was never “in the moment” and I was becoming anxious. Gotta get it done. Always in a rush. I wasn’t enjoying anything. Everything was a blur.

I told myself one day, this has to stop. I can’t continue like this and be a good mom, a good wife and a good me. I took a hard look at what I do in a day. Do I really need to do this? Do I really need to do this today? Do I really need to volunteer that much?

I started getting my kids to do more around the house. I added in some me time. (It took a time or two to get over the guilt. Crazy I know.)

And one thing that really helped, I started pausing. I paused before I switched to a new activity, whether it was at home or out and about. If I was running errands, I’d sit in the car between stops for a couple of seconds and take some deep breaths. It calmed me and slowed me down.

I really felt like I was getting control back. I felt good.

So just when I had everything under control and I’m trying to do less, what do I do? I get a puppy! An Old English Sheepdog.

And you know what’s even crazier? We’re actually thinking about adopting her brother too! Yeah, not one, but TWO pups! Maybe it’s just me, but it’s as though I’m looking for more chaos now that I have everything “fixed!" You know, something else to work on.

I’ve cut back only to add more! What the heck is wrong with me???