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Lynda Loveland: Halloween deja vu

Posted October 30, 2013

Lynda Loveland

Isn't it interesting how history has a way of repeating itself? Sometimes it's in a good way. Other times, not so much.

If you read my blog post last year at this time, you may remember my two older kids lost their chance to go trick-or-treating. They were warned well in advance, but their behavior didn't improve. There ended up being an interesting twist to Halloween night. 

Fast forward a year: My oldest daughter is doing much better and so was my son. I really wish I coulda used "is" there instead of "was."

About two weeks ago, the wheels came off his behavior bus. Still haven't really figured out why, but we put him in the shop and we've been working on getting those wheels back on. Trick-or-treating was in jeopardy, again. His costume won't last another year. It's already hiking up in places it ought not to.

So here's the dilemma. He had a bad day two days ago and all but lost going out on Halloween. Actually, he probably should have lost it. But yesterday, he redeemed himself and even put a little icing on the cake.  

The bad days outnumber the good, but do we reward that extra bit of goodness? Maybe it all comes down to his behavior today. No pressure.

Lynda is the mom of three and co-host of Mix 101.5 WRAL-FM's The Mix Morning Show. Find her here on Thursdays. Click here to check out her Facebook page.

 

7 Comments

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  • river Nov 1, 2013

    I often am in the same situation you describe with the same number of kids with same ages. My dad, a psychologist, recently gave me advice when I asked about the same sort of thing - he said to make the punishment relate to the crime. This is harder to do than it sounds, but basically, if his 'crime' is school related, the punishment should be too (xtra 'homework'). If it is soccer related (don't get to go to practice/game), family time related (xtra chores), etc, so should the punishment be.

  • this is my Screen Name Oct 31, 2013

    Please, not this whole discussion like last year. How do you handle punishment situations all of the other days of the year?

  • friendlyman Oct 31, 2013

    How about letting him go, but he knows he will be "docked" a percentage of his candy to "pay" for his bad behavior?

  • Yourekiddingme Oct 31, 2013

    My kids are 14 and 17 and are routinely in the behavior shop for repairs! Especially the 14 year old girl.
    Being a parent--especially as they get older is HARD! Stay strong, do what you think is right, and don't forget to tell them you love them and appreciate when you see them making an effort. They will be gone before we know it!

  • 123skipjack Oct 31, 2013

    give him a piece of candy

  • Lab mom Oct 31, 2013

    If he is really trying to do better let him go. See how he is today. My daughter is 12 and we are struggling with taking her cell phone. It just gets harder!!

    Have fun, they will only be little once!

  • thinkb4speak Oct 31, 2013

    I would say that you need to punish on a more frequent basis rather than wait for the one "big" event. I know that you have knowledge of Mr. Rosemond becuase I have heard you talk about him on the radio. Don't reward good behavior because good behavior is to be expected. We remove privledges immediately if bad behavior occurs and we reward when they go ABOVE what is expected. There is very little yelling and much more "You chose to do X therefore Y will happen. It is YOUR choice and you need to live with the consequences - good or bad."