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Lynda Loveland: Hallo-mean played out!

Posted November 1, 2012

Lynda Loveland

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I threatened the kids with taking away trick-or-treating if they didn’t shape up. Consider the threat, carried out!

One out of the three was high on sugar Halloween night while the other two were high on sour grapes!

Five-year-old Carys was the lone Loveland soliciting for sweets. Campbell was totally bummed and Caiden rode an emotional roller coaster. One minute he didn't care because trick-or-treating was stupid, the next he was angry and the next he was super sweet and sorry.

I took Carys to the neighbors to make the rounds and when I came back, my two Halloweenies seemed to have accepted their punishment. Caiden was being especially good. I was impressed by his new attitude. Cam was up in her room.

The doorbell started ringing and didn't stop for about 15 minutes. When I came up for air, Caiden was playing basketball in the driveway but Cam was nowhere to be found.

A few minutes later we get a knock at the door. There stood a lone wolfman who said in a gruff voice, "trick or treat"! One look at those neon aqua and orange indoor soccer shoes and we knew we had our missing person. We said "trick" and pulled her and her bag of candy inside! She'd snuck out in her costume, borrowed a bag from our neighbor and went out collecting candy!

I'm stunned at what she did. We don't even know yet how we're going to punish her.

Do you have a good Halloween story?

Lynda is the mom of three and co-host of Mix 101.5 WRAL-FM's Bill & Lynda in the Morning. Find her here on Thursdays. Click here to like her on Facebook.

36 Comments

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  • Killian Nov 6, 5:29 p.m.

    Why are you people trashing Lynda for asking her readers how she should punish her kid? She didn't ask us! She merely stated that she and her husband were stunned enough that they weren't sure how to react yet.

    The question she asked was if we had Halloween stories to share.

    For the love of pete, learn to read, people.

  • darcikh Nov 6, 3:36 p.m.

    http://www.parentingquests.com/ sorry...long winded!

  • darcikh Nov 6, 3:34 p.m.

    Lynda,

    I have been listening to this situation unfold this week. I definitely agree with following through on the threat, that is a MUST. I do think the punishment should fit the crime though. At this point the three of you will be in a power struggle over this for the forseeable future. You and Randall are going to prove that you are in charge of her life and she is going to prove that she is in charge of her life. Your eldest sounds a lot like my oldest step daughter...it's going to have to be REALLY painful for her to get a permanent behavior change. Not sure if shaming her is the answer to this one...the real issue is that she left your house without permission. Perhaps the logical consequence of that would be to restrict her to the house for a long period of time...no soccer, dance, or any other extra curricular activities for a period of time that is impactful...a month? And while restricted to the house, no electronics, TV, computer, etc. I highly reccommend http://www.parentin

  • lynhittle Nov 5, 1:08 p.m.

    Hi Lynda: first of all, I love that you are so real! You brighten our hour drive every morning. As a public figure, you will be subjected to some unkind opinions as we have seen here, just let those roll off your shoulder! I have always maintained that children need rules to live by, and they need those rules to be solid and enforced, even if they moan about how unfair the rules are. I have two adult children, the first, a son, was allowed to bend all the rules by his dad, and he ended up being adjudicated a juvenile delinquent when he was 16. I had him put into a boot camp program, where the rules were solid and enforced, and he loved it and thrived there. He ended up going into the Navy and being very successful, again rules were solid and enforced. My younger child, a daughter, was held to the rules by her mom, and she never got in trouble, was a great student, and is a professional success.

    Keep on doing what you are doing!

    Oh, and when all else fails, use my favorite

  • ttlwilliams Nov 5, 11:37 a.m.

    I apologize for everyone that thinks that they have the right to judge you based on your parenting style. I do not know you or your kids, so I trust that you know your neighborhood. My 7 year old was in the same predicament because he lied to us about something that happened in school. I believe that if you state a punishment it is best to stick to it. He always gets in trouble in school so we use daily, weekly, and monthly incentives and halloween and all of its activities was going to be the monthly incentive. His month was bad but we gave him a chance he did other things (fall festival, parties). We asked him to just follow directions on monday and tuesday so that he could trick or treat on wednesday and he did not. So he spent the night handing out candy. Some of my neighbors thought that it was a "bit much" because halloween was only once a year. My advice to them was to take a walk in my shoes for one week and then let me know what I should be doing instead.

  • jcrphny Nov 2, 10:58 p.m.

    I THINK THE BEST THING YOU COULD DO IS STAY HOME & BE A FULL-TIME MOTHER- YOUR CHILDREN REALLY NEED YOU AT THIS POINT IN THEIR LIVES, RESUME YOUR CAREER WHEN YOUR CHILDREN ARE OLDER & CAN TAKE MORE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIER ACTIONS

  • angelagriffin Nov 2, 5:23 p.m.

    First I'd like to applaud the fact that you stuck to your guns and stood by your punishment for their misbehavior. I'd say you are a consistent parent from that fact and should ignore alot of the horrible advice given in these comments.
    I'm of the opinion that your daughter, while she is growing up, is still a child/ minor and needs your consistent monitoring of her behavior and should earn privacy and special privileges. I'm not sure how I'd react to the trick or treating. She knowinly disobeyed you. I have a son near her age and I will share that he recently lied to me and I caught him. Over something completely unimportant. But I used that to implore upon him how important trust and ethics are in this world and our lives. He lost his gaming system for a month b/c he lied to me about who he was playing with online. This may seem brash but lying is a big deal and the earlier they learn that the better for our communities & world. Parenting is never easy. Good luck to us all

  • dobetter Nov 2, 1:24 p.m.

    clif4: Couldn't have said it better if I had tried.

    On the show this morning, I heard someone mention something to the effect of "New Parenting Style". My question is, what's wrong with the old style? Did we, who are the products of "Old Parenting", turn out all that bad? We broke the rules and were punished in ways our parents felt fit the "crime". We weren't asked what punishment we should be given. (I would have chosen "No Broccoli for a week")

    Our parents were in charge and we were their charges. We weren't on equal footing, nor should we have been. Our parents knew better than we because they have already experienced what we were trying to do.

    We, as children, did what children are supposed to do, test the boundaries. Our parents did what they were supposed to do, rein us in when we went too far.

    Our parents did a good job, so why do we feel we can do it better of we do it differently?

  • missparrothead Nov 2, 11:21 a.m.

    I disagree; my 9 year old understands the concept of trust. Its not a complicated concept.

    Well, Linda, you definitely have a lot of comments and opinions to read.

  • this is my Screen Name Nov 2, 11:10 a.m.

    I agree with clif4 and c4heels. She is your daughter, not a peer. And this should remain private in your family, without having to ask how to punish her for her disobedience. You and your husband (not the kids!) should be able to decide how to handle it between you two. Sorry, but let us be entertained by the fun cute things that happen in your families, not by having to be the jury in what to do when the kids mess up.

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