Bill Leslie's Carolina Conversations

Going Dutch

Posted February 16, 2009

Cindy and I had a wonderful Valentine’s Day dinner at Nana’s in Durham. Chef Scott Howell can flat out cook a special multi course meal. Ours included lobster risotto and tenderloin with all sorts of interesting side courses and a fabulous triple dessert.   Every bite was a special treat. It was an expensive evening but well worth it.

The young couple to my left went Dutch. I was somewhat surprised when the lady pulled out her credit card as did the young man after asking the waiting staff to split the check. What are your thoughts about going Dutch on Valentine’s? Is this unusual? I really wanted to ask them but it was really none of my business.

What about your Valentine’s Day dinner? What did you do and how did it go? Please share.


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  • LMRA Feb 17, 2009

    Valentine's Day has to be the WORST day of the year when you don't have a Valentine!

    I slept in, made a pot of coffee, worked on a birthday present for a 1st grader and then . . . went to Chuck E. Cheese for the birthday party! YES . . . I spent Valentine's Day at Chuck E. Cheese!!!!

    AHHHH the life of a single woman . . .

  • fishnett5977 Feb 17, 2009

    Valentines Day started when my granddaughter got up and was watching cartoons. She was soooo surprised that I had bought her a doll with a vanity and accessories! But the light on the vanity didnt work so she and her Papa went to Newton Grove and rumaged the stores to find those little button cell batteries! She came running in and handed me a bag from the drug store! "Papa got you this at the store that had the batteries!" she said. Inside the bag was two HUGE boxes of chocolates. Not that I needed them but they were such a pleasant surprise. We had decided earlier that we wouldnt do gifts - he's just started back to work and the money is tight. But he thought of me and I love it! And my granddaughter loved that Grammy shares her chocolates too!!! Quiet day, just us three, fixed a late lunch/early supper and enjoyed "As Time Goes By" on PBS after she went to bed. Wonderful day, simple and loving!!! :)

  • blytle Feb 17, 2009

    In this day and age, going dutch might be the only way people can afford to go out. When my husband and I were dating, we often went dutch because both of us were working and it didn't seem fair for him to have to pick up the check all of the time. sometimes he would pay for dinner and I would pay for a movie. But my conscience wouldn't allow me to have him pay all of the time -- it seemed like that would be taking advantage of him. Our Valentine's started out great. We had a fun day and we anticipated going to the Peddler for dinner and then to a movie. And yes, he was paying for dinner, but I was treating us to the movie. However, we got to the Peddler 20 minutes after they opened and there was already a 2-hour wait!! We ended up at 518 West and had a nice dinner but missed the movie!

  • lseltmann Feb 16, 2009

    In these tough times I think it's fine to go dutch if it means having the opportunity to spend a special dinner with that special someone.
    My husband and I delayed our outting to lunch today while the little ones were in school. We went to Kaishin in Cary for sushi. Yum! We were hoping to get to the Melting Pot but they're not open for lunch and our usual babysitter (grandma) was sick.

  • PAINFREE Feb 16, 2009

    If both parties have limited resources, and both parties want to celebrate the day with a special meal, I see no problem with going "dutch".

  • thinknc Feb 16, 2009

    Going Dutch is ok when both parties are unemployed students!
    Time on treadmill and swimming early in the day--in preparation for a very nice dinner--hubby, both kids, and son's girlfriend--at The Homestead in Timberlake. Hundreds of others had the same idea, but the food and service, as always, were excellent. And the drive through the country to get there is always beautiful. Probably should have spent more time on the treadmill, though!

  • tvhartrick Feb 16, 2009

    Well our Valentine's day wasn't the most romantic, but I still am glad that my wife and I got to spend the whole day together.

    It started with cards -- I put the card I got her in a place I knew she would find it, on top of the coffee pot. She put mine on the bathroom sink. :-)

    We've been working on the kitchen cabinets, so spent the day together resurfacing the cabinets before settling down for a take home pizza from The Loop and watching a movie together on the DVD player.

  • thefensk Feb 16, 2009

    Well, we, the ancient grandparents, had two of the grandkids for Valentines. We pretty much wore them out during the day so we opted for a quiet take-out Chinese dinner at home. Seems we weren't the only ones with that idea: a local place that is usually moderately busy was simply slammed with orders.

    Still the food was good and we had a good time and the grandkids had a good time too!

  • Celt Feb 16, 2009

    For me, I guess it boils down to how close the couple is. If they are casual friends, first daters, or simply colleagues, I could see going Dutch. Otherwise, it would seem to go against the connectedness that a Valentine's Day dinner seeks!

    Our Valentine's Day was wonderful. After a fun hike down the Eno, we came home, made a special dinner together, and then traded gifts and cards. Then we looked through a book on the use of hearts in antiques. Finally, a romantic movie. What a great day!

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Bill Leslie