Baby Steps: Feeling connected

By Chrstine Bowley

Posted: June 2, 2011

I can’t say enough about how good it feels to know we are not alone. My husband and I are learning that more and more as we meet and connect with others who are going through the same thing we are. And I know many of you out there feel the same.

Of late, we’ve both had occasions where we’ve connected with another person who is part of a couple that’s also suffering with infertility. In both cases, the stories were eerily similar to our own – same facts, same feelings. The experience is like looking in a mirror that shows the future. In these cases, both still had not found their way to the baby they were hoping for, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t happy or that there will be no happy ending.

I’m starting to think the road might be more important than the destination. In a lot of ways, isn’t that what having children is all about? Helping a child learn and grow … and doing the same yourself?

I’ll admit, it’s often hard to enjoy this ride we’re on but, in the end, we’ll become the people (and maybe the parents) we were meant to be.

For anyone else who’s been on this road before – what did you learn? I’d love to hear from you.

Christine is the weekday noon news producer at WRAL-TV. She lives with her husband and three dogs. Christine is chronicling her experience as she and her husband struggle with infertility. Find her here on Fridays.

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I do want to encourage you on your difficult journey. My experience was that the least support was for those of us who will never have children in our lives. People often don't understand. I sincerely hope that you will not have to deal with that. I would add that I don't believe that I am "meant to be" anything. I am what I am.

froggygirl
June 3, 2011 5:51 p.m.

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'I’m starting to think the road might be more important than the destination.'

You've already learned what so many people never do. You'll find people who are supportive - so will surprise you. You'll find those that are critical and some of them will shock you. There will be times that you will laugh, cry, want to scream, want to quit, be more determined than ever and all of them may happen within the same day, maybe even hour.

Remember that you and your husband love each other and are in this together...but it seems you already have.

As always, I look forward to Fridays to follow you on your journey.

grannybam07
June 3, 2011 10:32 a.m.

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We had almost the exact same situation as you do. After looking at all of the options and discussing them with the awesome infertility doctors at UNC we decided to try IVF. It was expensive (we'll be paying for it for a long time) and the process was kind of nerve wracking, involving medication regimens including injections that I had to give to my wife and many trips to the doctors office. It took three tries but it was worth it because we now have 15 month old baby twins.

seand44
June 3, 2011 10:17 a.m.

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Honestly, my infertility journey was lonely and painful. I felt others viewed me as selfish and unappreciative for all the good things in my life. You are truly blessed to have connected with couples going through the same thing. Support and understanding are so important. But my story does have a happy ending. After 5 years, my husband and I were blessed with b/g twins.

Karson
June 3, 2011 9:16 a.m.

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jdnowell, Thank you for the link!

lwt
June 3, 2011 8:57 a.m.

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Christine, I find myself even more excited for Fridays simply because I know its your day to post a blog!! Your blog started right around the time my husband and I decided to start our family. Here we are almost a year into the process without the results we were hoping to have by now. My doctor has started talking about the testing that may be in our future and it makes it easier know we are not alone.

We are not as far down the road as you and your hubby, but already we are learning a lot. Mostly we have learned to communicate even better then we already did and we have found a new closeness and support for each other even after being together for 10 years! So even though it is been a long hard road so far, at least my husband and I are traveling together.

Thank you for your blog.

lwt
June 3, 2011 8:56 a.m.

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Christine- thank you for sharing your story. Here is a blog that a friend who has struggled with infertility, and just recently delivered a healthy baby girl, has documenting her journey. Check it out! www.ohhappymiracle.com

jdnowell
June 3, 2011 7:30 a.m.

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Baby Steps: Feeling connected

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