Go Ask Mom

Go Ask Mom

Amanda Lamb: Spork

Posted May 1, 2011

One afternoon we were having lunch with my mother-in-law at a restaurant with a gift shop attached. She told each girl they could pick out an item that was under $10. This provided us a good 20 minutes of adult time to chat and finish our meal.

The kitschy gift shop had plenty of unique items to choose from, including small, interesting toys. The girls examined each item with great care as if they were choosing a wedding dress - picking them up, testing them, reading the fine print on the packaging and consulting one another. They returned to the table after their exploration excited to show us what they had chosen.

My 11-year-old chose a small easel with two canvasses and a set of paints and paint brushes. She informed me that she was going to "create some art," which sounded like a good activity for a somewhat cold and dreary afternoon. My 7-year-old chose a "spork." I had no idea what it was until she shoved it under my nose and made me read the text. A spork

"It's not a spoon. It's not a fork. It's a cross between the two. It's a spork!" She said proudly having bought into the promotional diatribe on the package. "And, Mommy, here's the best part. It gets longer and shorter. It's retract-tant-table."

"Wow, are you sure you want this?" I asked imagining the spork never being removed from the package and gathering dust under her bed or in the back of a messy drawer. I hate buying things my kids don't use, and I find that more often than not, they get bored with toys after awhile and stop playing with them, that the things they really like are often not toys at all.

"I'm sure," she said holding the spork to her heart with both hands.

"What are you going to use it for?" I asked one more time, just to be sure.

"Lots of things," she replied. And so, her grandmother got her the spork.

Immediately, the spork demonstrations started.

"Look, Mommy, I can eat my mandarin oranges from across the room. Isn't that cool?" She said while her sister diligently painted a sunset on her tiny easel.

Every day the spork had to be washed and put in the lunchbox because apparently it was a big hit with the second graders. One day her dad grabbed it and examined it.

"Honey, I think this is actually a backscratcher," he said extending it behind him from his neck down to his waist.

"See, Mommy, she said. It has a whole lot of uses," she said with a grin.

Amanda is the mom of two, a reporter for WRAL-TV and the author of several books including two on motherhood. Find her here on Mondays.


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  • Killian May 2, 2011

    This is hilarious. Love it. =) Thanks for the laugh today!

  • kellypratz May 2, 2011

    What adults see as useless, kids see as a treasure. I love watching my kids come up with all kinds of ideas of how you can use an old tissue box that I see as trash. Gotta love them.

  • Reason May 2, 2011

    Love this. I actually call them fpoons and that term affectionately became the nickname of one of the small groups within my youth ministry after a funny conversation/debate over the fpoons purpose. So the next week I brought them all individually wrapped fpoons from Bojangels. Ha Ha.

  • AWOL May 2, 2011

    This was too cute! Thanks for the smile.

  • kittiboo May 1, 2011

    I've seen these before- too funny! Glad she's getting some use out of it!