Since I started writing this blog, it’s been a weight off my shoulders. I don’t like secrets…and I am horrible at keeping them…so why not just let it all hang out there. Especially, in this case, I think there are many who tend to be uptight about this kind of stuff and I think it’s worth letting them know – it’s time to loosen up!
I am not embarrassed about the fact that our plumbing isn’t put together quite right. It doesn’t make me lazy or mean or boring. It makes me who I am…and so does every step my husband and I take in this process.
The part I did not consider when I opened myself up to the world is a funny awkwardness I run into from time to time. It’s nothing serious. But I find myself holding back a little when I talk to an expecting mom. It almost feels like this little blog clings to me – and even chokes me up sometimes. In the end, I trip over words that come so easily others and end up making myself feel silly.
Keeping the clinger in mind, I was worried about how my inner monologue would handle attending a baby shower. Before going I gave myself a little pep talk, ‘Just please don’t show up and let every super cute baby outfit or adorable fluffy toy choke you up!’
And they didn’t. I really enjoyed hanging around with the soon-to-be new mom as well as several other women who were expecting. I think I managed to get through it without a stumble or a stutter (from what I remember) and I thoroughly enjoyed getting a good dose of baby fever from others. It was even fulfilling!
I truly am surprised on a regular basis about the way my emotions respond to different things. Have you ever had anything cause you to feel something you didn’t expect?
Christine is the weekday noon news producer at WRAL-TV. She lives with her husband and three dogs. Christine is chronicling her experience as she and her husband struggle with infertility. Find her here on Fridays.