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Go Ask Mom

Baby Steps: Unpredictable

Posted March 24, 2011

Since I started writing this blog, it’s been a weight off my shoulders. I don’t like secrets…and I am horrible at keeping them…so why not just let it all hang out there. Especially, in this case, I think there are many who tend to be uptight about this kind of stuff and I think it’s worth letting them know – it’s time to loosen up!

I am not embarrassed about the fact that our plumbing isn’t put together quite right. It doesn’t make me lazy or mean or boring. It makes me who I am…and so does every step my husband and I take in this process.

The part I did not consider when I opened myself up to the world is a funny awkwardness I run into from time to time. It’s nothing serious. But I find myself holding back a little when I talk to an expecting mom. It almost feels like this little blog clings to me – and even chokes me up sometimes. In the end, I trip over words that come so easily others and end up making myself feel silly.

Keeping the clinger in mind, I was worried about how my inner monologue would handle attending a baby shower. Before going I gave myself a little pep talk, ‘Just please don’t show up and let every super cute baby outfit or adorable fluffy toy choke you up!’

And they didn’t. I really enjoyed hanging around with the soon-to-be new mom as well as several other women who were expecting. I think I managed to get through it without a stumble or a stutter (from what I remember) and I thoroughly enjoyed getting a good dose of baby fever from others. It was even fulfilling!

I truly am surprised on a regular basis about the way my emotions respond to different things. Have you ever had anything cause you to feel something you didn’t expect?

Christine is the weekday noon news producer at WRAL-TV. She lives with her husband and three dogs. Christine is chronicling her experience as she and her husband struggle with infertility. Find her here on Fridays.


 

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  • jpittard2 Mar 26, 2011

    Been there, done that! It seemed the littlest things would get to me and then I could not handle the big things. Unfortunately, I let friendships slip away after the babies came and I could not share with them. Now, years after adopting, I have reconnected and resumed my old friendships. God is so good and I have been richly blessed but I wasted so much time because I feared my reactions to their joy. Don't make my mistakes, hang in there and enjoys God's blessings.

  • snowl Mar 25, 2011

    What you are going through is timeless. It is just that in 2011, modern medicine has made great strides with helping a woman become pregnant, than say 25 years ago. The emotions of wanting a child of your own never change. I remember when my son was an infant and an unknown woman was observing me placing him into his car seat at a local shopping center...she had tears in her eyes and I just instictively knew why. It made me feel sad for her, but at the same time made me more aware of my good fortune.

  • lwt Mar 25, 2011

    Real life is typically easier to deal with the baby stuff especially if it’s a friend of mine. Think just being overly happy for them helps. But from time to time the random pregnant lady standing in the baby aisle at Target will get the tears going. For me the hardest is seeing cute babies on TV, getting stuck watching 16 and pregnant or teen mom (yes I do admit I catch myself getting pulled in by these shows) or one of the many pregnancy and delivery shows on TV these days. So luckily for me if the tears start flowing, and they normally do at an uncontrollable rate, I am in the confines of my own home. It is happening less and less these days as I wrap my head around the fact that it will not be an easy process for us. And for the fact that my loving husband has blocked a few channels for me ;)

  • NCishome Mar 25, 2011

    I understand that feeling. I was ok at baby showers it was after all of those that things got hard. It seemed that when I would meet up with my girlfriends or there was some social event all the talk was about kids, which left me out of the loop. Now its grandkids that take up the converstaion. I just tell them I am glad that I am not old enough to have grandkids. My 4 legged kids are enough to keep me busy.