Go Ask Mom

Go Ask Mom

Baby Steps: Not quite numb

Posted January 20, 2011

Round 3 is a total knockout.

For the third time in less than a year my husband went in for an analysis appointment and the results came back essentially the same – conceiving a baby may not be possible. Despite surgery, vitamins, calendar tracking, etc. our plans to become parents just shifted even farther out of reach.

I must admit, each time gets a little easier. It didn’t hurt like the first email I scrolled through to suddenly encounter a harsh “abnormal” conclusion. It wasn’t even like the second one when I had an expectation mixed with a glimmer of hope. This time I knew what was coming. The results didn’t even take my by surprise. What caught me off guard was that it still hurt. And while this wasn’t the worst – it might be the one that pushes me over the edge.

We are now looking for a new solution. My husband and I both agreed that this is not what we want. Neither of us can continue to be slaves to test results. We are moving on.

So we are now taking our first steps at exploring adoption. The process itself is in its infancy and we are very likely not done with doctors for good. But we can’t continue to spin our wheels. When my wheels are spinning, I want to go somewhere…

Christine is a news producer at WRAL-TV, which includes research for 5 On Your Side and producing the 10 p.m. weekend newscasts on Fox50. She lives with her husband and three dogs. Christine is chronicling her experience as she and her husband struggle with infertility. Find her here on Fridays.
 

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  • goridegirlnc Jan 23, 2011

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. We tried 8 yrs and after 6 months of fertility treatments, we came to the conclusion that it wasn't in the cards for us. I think it was the most depressng thing I ever went through. After a year of completely not trying anymore and actually really giving up. We got the biggest shock of our lives! We were preggo! Now we have a beautiful 6 yrd and a beautiful 3 yr old and I hope you can enjoy being a parent whether they are your's biologically or they are born in your heart. :) Good luck to you!

  • christineincarolina Jan 21, 2011

    Thanks for all the supportive comments everyone! Just to be clear, it's not over. The blog will continue...along with our journey to become parents. I hope you'll continue to read along with us.
    **Christine

  • lwt Jan 21, 2011

    Will you continue your blog through the adoption process? I know it will probably help a lot of couples out there, just as your blog has thus far. Congrats on making the decision towards adoption. Do not give up hope of a child of your own. I know many people who bring home an adopted child to suddenly find out they got pregnant themselves! Good luck!

  • lauramichelle79 Jan 21, 2011

    I am facing the possibility of never conceiving naturally. I know that for me all the fertility treatments are not an option. Adoption is. My feeling is there is no unwanted child out there. I also feel that God can and will give my husband and i children one way or the other. Praying the same for you.

  • grannybam07 Jan 21, 2011

    Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I sent this link to my niece, she lives out-of-state, and is traveling the same journey as you and your husband. It is so helpful to her to be able to read your blog & know she is not alone, shares the same frustrations, etc. Best wishes to you and your husband on building a family! (ps - she said she knew you were good people when she saw the picture of you and your dogs :)

  • MonkeyFace Jan 21, 2011

    Don't ever give up hope! I have a friend, her and her hubby tried and tried, when to the doctors and did test after test. The doctor pretty much told them its was going to be impossible for her to ever have a kid. 3 year later, she's now 3 1/2 months pregent. Its when you quit trying that it happens. Stressing out over this doesn't help.. keep your heads up and good luck witht he adpotion thing!

  • bjgupton Jan 21, 2011

    Adoption is a wonderful thing for everyone! Blessings for you and your husband as you continue this journey to become parents!!! It is worth it!

  • JAT Jan 21, 2011

    Praise the Lord!!! And I won't even say I told ya so! I'm just SO incredibly glad you chose to LIVE. Being slaves to anything is so defeating and is no way for anyone to live. I wish you all the luck in the world on whatever route you choose. Enjoy life as newlyweds; the rest will take care of itself.

  • chicky Jan 20, 2011

    I know the results are not what you wanted, but good for you for moving on. Don't let this consume you! There are so many children that need good homes. The adoption process can be frustrating, but will be worth it in the end. God bless!