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Lynda Loveland: Stop yelling!

Posted December 1, 2010

Lynda Loveland

I’m not proud of it, but it’s loud at our house. With three kids ages 3, 5 and 7, all with selective hearing, sometimes it takes a raised voice to be heard. But you know how that works, loudness begets loudness. Factor in the two dogs, one of which is a pup and before you know it, we’ve surpassed the allowable decibel limit in Cary. (Those guinea pigs can work themselves into a frenzy too!)

My son is the worst. He yells EVERYTHING. I keep telling him to keep it down but it just doesn’t sink in. My daughter turns up the TV way too loud. You’d think she was hard of hearing. Oh wait, she is. And I’m not referring to an actual physical condition. My youngest is the loudest whiner/cryer you’ve ever heard.

I’ve seen those shows, like Supernanny, where the parents complain how loud the kids are, but it’s the parents who start it. Well, I’m here to tell you, our house was just a low rumble BTK (before the kids).

I’ve decided to try a little experiment. I’m going to stop yelling for one week. Instead of yelling for/at the kids from across the room, I’m going to walk up to them. If they’re talking loudly, I’m going to talk normally. I’m really going to try my best to keep it on the down low.

Are you with me? We’ll compare notes next week.

Lynda is the mom of three and co-host of Mix 101.5 WRAL-FM's Bill & Lynda in the Morning. Find her here on Thursdays.


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  • Mugu Dec 3, 2010

    Nip it in the bud now or else you're gonna have a 12 year old drawing pictures of ninjas and getting arrested.

  • rcrdngcountry Dec 3, 2010


  • ProudBlackSingleMother Dec 3, 2010

    Spankings and ruling with an iron fist works.

  • MomOfTwo79 Dec 3, 2010

    Boy, Linda - can I feel your pain! :) We too have selective hearing at our house (and Dad's included in that, not just the kids lol!) Even when I yell to attempt to get someone's attention at the other end of the house they still swear they couldn't hear me! Argh!

  • Killian Dec 3, 2010

    Kittiboo -- I am not picking on you, I promise. =) Just curious - why let her get you to the frustration point of yelling? If you ask her to get off the table (and kudos for saying please!), that's it. One time. If she doesn't comply, you make it happen. There should never be a grey area if you give your child a direct order. Now, picking your battles does come into play here, because the kid needs to know you mean it, but they also can't have everything you say to them be a direct order.

    But if your kid doesn't get off the table (which is a safety issue), then you take her off, and she either gets a time out, or a restriction of activity/TV, or whatever disciplinary action you use. You're the parent -- don't let her make you into something you don't want to be! (A yeller)

  • njacobs317 Dec 2, 2010

    Good Luck Mom, however Monkey see Monkey Do, you yell , Kids Yell, try yelling for Dollars and see who quits yelling first, it really worked at my house, every time you yell it cost a dollar, however on one occasion my daughter informed me that if she had to pay a dollar she was going to yell a dollars worth, then I gave her something to yell for, she quit yellin.....

  • JAT Dec 2, 2010

    sorry - Lynda - it was so loud in hear I couldn't hear myself think!

  • JAT Dec 2, 2010

    Good luck with that, Linda! lol

  • dawnydee1971 Dec 2, 2010

    Oh my!! I thought I had the winner for the loudest whiner/crier! Glad to know I am not the only one! But, like Thompson, it will be tomorrow. We had a rough start to our day because we did not like our clothes for daycare! :)
    Good Luck to us all!

  • elliesmom Dec 2, 2010

    I love the Positive Parenting Solutions website--great tips there! I took a class recently and one of the strategies was using "when/then" statements. This has been like a small miracle in my house and a complete "duh" moment for me. So "no, you can't have a friend over because your room isn't clean" becomes "WHEN your room is clean, THEN you can have a friend over." I don't know if this will work for yelling (WHEN you use your inside voice, THEN I will listen to what you have to say), but it has been a fabulous tool in my mommy tool belt (and actually, it works with adults, too :-) Good luck!!!