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Go Ask Mom

Lynda Loveland: Hold me

Posted November 24, 2010

Lynda Loveland

My husband says I’m an enabler. My three-year-old daughter, Carys, wants to be held all the time. And I oblige. I can’t help it. She’s my baby and she’s a snuggler and I love it.

But of course she wants to be held/carried ALL the time. And for the most part, if we’re being honest here, I oblige. I’m told I’m creating a monster. I used to care. I don’t anymore. Here’s why:

The other day, I was in my closet thinking I really needed to change out my summer clothes for my winter clothes when Carys walked in. She said, “hold me." I said, “Hon, I’m just standing here thinking.” She said, “please."

So I did. I picked her up, turned my back to my clothes, and held her tightly. Then I nestled my face in her neck and took a deep breath. I started thinking how moments like these would soon come to an end. I tried to burn it into my memory. She’s only three but she’ll be 18 in no time. I’m not sure how long we stood there but it was awhile. I didn’t care.

So I’m an enabler. I’m enabling myself to feel the love. For that, I’m thankful.

Lynda is the mom of three and co-host of Mix 101.5 WRAL-FM's Bill & Lynda in the Morning. Find her here on Thursdays.


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  • Whosays Nov 30, 2010

    I am not against sunggling, I am just saying when it gets time for her to go to school if she is not with other children her own age now, it will be hard for Mommy to leave her there. I love Hugs :)

  • elliesmom Nov 29, 2010

    You know, there are few places that children can count on to be safe and welcoming no matter what. And a mom's arms should be one of them. Good for you! My daughter is 10 now and while she is pulling away a bit, when she is sad or troubled or lonely, she still comes to me first for a hug and some snuggle time. As she heads into the teen years, I hope she continues to see me as a safe harbor from the world.

  • Whosays Nov 28, 2010

    An occasional snuggle is fine, the problem will come when you try and leave them at school.

  • sutsw Nov 26, 2010

    enjoy while you can, I have a 14 year old and I take the few and far between holds as i can

  • mikeysmom Nov 26, 2010

    Sorry. I'm new at the whole post comment thing. I hit add comment before I was ready. I have a 9 month old daughter and plan to hold her as long as I can. She'll be grown befoer I know it.

  • mikeysmom Nov 26, 2010


  • kimwells Nov 26, 2010

    I don't consider it enabling at all!!! I've told my 2, 9 & 11, that mommy's lap is always open to them and if I could still pick them up and hold them I would in a heartbeat!!!!! I just consider it loving them and they will remember it for years to come - and always know that mommy's arms are a SAFE place to be!

  • bjgupton Nov 25, 2010

    My youngest, who is now 12, used to say to me - "wanna hold you". Couldn't resist and up until about a year ago, he still liked to snuggle a few minutes before he went to sleep. My oldest, now 18, will still sit in my lap a few minutes when she is feeling down or troubled. Don't worry about enabling - really don't consider it that when it comes to hugs!!!

  • kittiboo Nov 24, 2010

    Love it. So true about how fast they grow up!

  • mjjm Nov 24, 2010

    i still hold mine. i even use the mei tei some. and they are 4 & 6! enjoy it!