Go Ask Mom

Go Ask Mom

Lynda Loveland: Soccer mom etiquette

Posted October 6, 2010

Lynda Loveland

It’s happened. I’ve become a soccer mom, minus the van. My two oldest, ages 5 and 7, are both playing. We have soccer practice twice a week and two games Saturday morning. I know this is probably a light schedule compared to most of you.

Now that I’ve finally figured out the proper order of shin pads and socks, I’m trying to figure out the proper game time etiquette. I played team sports throughout high school and some college, so I’ve always been vocal during games. Not the negative kind of vocal, the positive kind.

So there I was, sitting beside the field, watching Campbell play while my son Caiden sat beside me playing with his superheroes. When the game started, I started yelling. Things like, "great teamwork," "nice pass," "good hustle." I’m an equal opportunity cheerer. I do it for all the kids. But no sooner had I said, "great shot," when my son looked at me with astonishment and said, “Mom, what are you doing? Why are you yelling?” I explained that I was just cheering on the team. He responded with, “You’re too loud!”

After that I decided to observe. I noticed that I was in the minority. Not many parents yelled. Of course they would after a goal, but not much during the game. I tried to restrain myself but I just couldn’t. It kinda just comes out. I don’t know, maybe I should just kinda keep it in…

Lynda is the mom of three and co-host of Mix 101.5 WRAL-FM's Bill & Lynda in the Morning. Find her here on Thursdays.


Please with your account to comment on this story. You also will need a Facebook account to comment.

Oldest First
View all
  • margaretted Oct 8, 2010

    I say cheer on! As a kindergarten teacher I am a cheerleader all day long for 23 five year olds and they love it. You're there for your kids, not to appease some parent who thinks soccer games are a playdate for the adults in the bleachers, especially since you're cheering for all the kids, not just your own!

  • snowl Oct 8, 2010

    Kids are lucky to have all this support today. I just hope they learn that they need to be their own cheerleader for life's up and downs as they age. Previous generations did not have all this support and had to rely on themselves to stay positive. I don't remember my parents ever attending my field hockey games when I was in school, then I walked home alone after practice...

  • kimwells Oct 7, 2010

    I am the "cheerer" at our games too, no matter what my kids are playing. I try to learn the names of their other teammates, and even the other team, so I can cheer them by name. It is fun! My kids love it. Once when I wasn't going to be at my son's soccer, he said, "But mom, who is going to cheer for me since you won't be there?" Dad said, "I will" to which my son said, "yeah, but I can't hear you!" I think they like knowing you are there!!! They have enough negativity in life, so be positive & have fun watching them!!!

  • Karenp Oct 7, 2010

    My son played for 13 yrs. and we "cheered" every game, just be positive (I wish ALL parents would only say positive things). As they get older, you won't be yelling "nice try" anymore though!

  • timbo 2.0 Oct 7, 2010

    There's cheering, and then there's non-stop talking. It's best to know the difference. I think some people can easily lapse into a "play by play", which is extremely annoying to the other parents.

    Cheering is fine, but don't do every time something little happens.

  • tvhartrick Oct 7, 2010

    Hey Lynda, keep cheering in a positive way and spread it around... hopefully it'll catch on :-) The games need more like you! Enjoy the games!

  • Duke _Nukem Oct 7, 2010

    You keep cheering. My boys play football and won the Superbowl last year!!! After the win I told my sons how proud I was of them because of all the hard work they put into playing the game. My 13 year old almost cried when I told him I was proud of him. I'm so glad I expressed my feelings as a proud Father.

  • skewlteachrmommy Oct 7, 2010

    I yell encouragement and a few reminders to pay attention. I definitely don't want to be like the dad that yelled at a game recently to his kid "do that again and I'll kick your b*tt from here to the house" They're FIVE man!! All the little boy did was grab another kids' jersey trying to get the ball-they're little soccer players- not pros!!! I'd love to kick that dad's b*tt!! :-)

  • lblackwell2 Oct 7, 2010

    Lynda, you're the kind of parent we need more of around here! I'm constantly surprised at how many parents just sit there and offer no encouragement whatsoever to the team, coaches or their own kids! The flipside, of course, is the parent who only speaks up when they have something negative to say. We've been riding the soccer/t-ball/baseball/basketball train for 6 years now and have found that as long as you're not coaching from the sidelines, all positive comments are really appreciated by the kids and coaches. Keep up the good work, maybe you can shame some of the other parents on your team to be good sports!

  • mewubbau Oct 7, 2010

    I agree that positive cheering is great! My parents were present and heard at all my sports activities through out the years and it meant a lot to me. And I remember that now when I go watch my daughter's dance recitals/competitions--although I don't yell good hustle during a dance, ha ha! My daughter and I both had to sign a contract at the beginning of the season saying we were expected to exhibit good sportsmanship at all classes and events the team attended, failure to do so could lead to dismissal from the team. My point is I am always cheering for my daughter and I cheer for other dancers too if I notice their hardwork on stage or a particular dance I like--it doesn't matter what studio or dance team they are on. The girls learn from that and I've seen them go up to other teams and say good job or that they enjoyed their dance. I'm not a crazy cheerleader mom with noise makers or pom poms, but I will clap or give a woohoo and it pumps the girls up to give it their best!