banner
Go Ask Mom

Go Ask Mom

Amanda Lamb: Do BFF's have a shelf life?

Posted September 19, 2010

"So, we're best friends, right?" I say to my seven-year-old as she tries to wrangle a little blue rubber dress on her Polly Pocket doll.

"Un hunh," she says as she concentrates fiercely on the task at hand.

"What about when you're, lets say, 15? How about then?" I ask eagerly.

"Sure," she says refusing to look up from her doll.

"But will you still want to hang out with me all of the time?"

There is a long silence. She finally looks up from her half-dressed doll and meets my gaze.

"Mommy, I don't know how I'll feel then. I can't make any promises," she says reaching out and putting her hand on my shoulder, clearly trying to soften the blow to my delicate mother-ego.

So, is that how it's going to be? One minute, they are clamoring for every little drop of attention you will bestow upon them. The next minute their done with you, leaving you home alone, in the dust as soon as something more exciting comes along like the teenage years.

"But we'll still be best friends? Right? You're just not sure you will want to hang out with me?" I can tell my voice sounds desperate. I'm trying to act cool, but it's not working very well.

"Right. We'll always be best friends, but I might have other things I want to do when I'm 15n," she says sincerely.

I guess I better get in a lot of face-time with her now. In a couple of years it will just be her looking at the back of my head as I drive her around town to be with her friends...

Amanda is the mom of two, a reporter for WRAL-TV and the author of several books including one on motherhood called "Smotherhood."

4 Comments

Please with your WRAL.com account to comment on this story. You also will need a Facebook account to comment.

Oldest First
View all
  • lauren1026 Sep 21, 2010

    howdiditgettothis:
    I fell your troubles with the in laws. My husband and I just got married 3 months ago and someone close to him does not even call and check on me. I have not talked to them in 2 months. I have tried and went out of my way to show how much I care for the family and husband but it does no good. However on the other hand my parents treat my husband like there own and would do anything in the world for me. Do you have any advice on this type of problem.

  • howdiditgettothis Sep 20, 2010

    I can see the humor in your article. I like to joke with my kids that one day they'll be driving me to Target, and I'll ask them to get me a slushee, then what will they say?

    My husband and children have a family motto --- the golden rule - treat others the way you want to be treated.....whether it's family or not. Some of my immediate family (particularly in laws) do not treat me or my children respectfully, so I have encouraged them to find joy in what/whom they have around them.

    On grandparents' day, my children invite an older neighbor couple (who joyfully attend!). They have developed "friendships" with people of all ages, races, sizes --

    I build my bridges with them now, by spending time with them, focused on them, meeting their needs for attention, sharing their interests.

    Your children are only young once. By building your bridges now, you have a good chance they won't burn them in a few years........best friends or not.

  • Twittyfan Sep 20, 2010

    Amanda I am 37 and still go on vacations with my family and I am spending the night with my parents at least twice a month to help look after them. It is a blessing and I am sure your children will be the same way. I am teaching my little girl God and family is 1st in life because once they are dead and gone you can't get that time back... I took her on a 7 day cruise and she was so happy to see everyone she started crying and during the cruise she would think about them and tear up and say I miss my family... I say it is how you raise and teach them at an early age.... I know my day will come when she hits those teenage years though and i will be sad...

  • dell27613 Sep 20, 2010

    Amanda, That is 8 years from now. Like you said, make the best of what you have now and she will still have time for you then, just not full time