I don't know about you but my faith is a roller coaster. Well, I should rephrase that. My faith is steadfast, but my journey is a roller coaster.
There are times when I seek answers by reading and praying and I crave more and more insight. These are the times that I am looking to the Bible for answers and wisdom. Like a good workout, reading my Bible becomes a part of my day. And not just that, it becomes a part that I really look forward to because I know I will feel great afterward.
But there are seasons of dread. Seasons where I get all turned around. The Bible is still the same and the exercise hasn't changed. Yet there is something in me that just doesn't want to put forth the effort anymore, no matter how promising the outcome seems. Almost suddenly, the motivation has gone and all that's left is religion. And what I mean by that is that while I might stick with it for a few more days or weeks, my heart isn't in it. There is just a sense of "this is what I am supposed to do" so I do it.
And then I stop.
What is this self-sabotage and why does it seem to cycle in and out of my life? The common denominator here is me, so is it something that I am doing or saying that gets me out of balance?
I think a little bit of yes, and a little bit of no.
As a parent, there are many day-to-day pressures to deal with. And even if you don't have children, I am sure you can relate to the juggling that most adults do on a daily basis. It can be overwhelming to manage finances, friends, appointments, marriages, vehicles and children. And not only that, the demand to shift gears at lightning speed is high. We all deal with pressure. That isn't groundbreaking news. What I want to know is how some of us find this balance and seem to keep it, while others seem to struggle.
Faith and Exercise.
And that is where the so-called self sabotage comes in. For me, in those moments of quiet (if there are any) I can't seem to digest what I should do next and before I know it, I have squandered my chance to best use that time. In my life, I need a schedule. Transitioning from a full-time office career to full-time motherhood has been a challenge, but the reality is, my days shouldn't be that different. I still get up, get ready for the day and have a plan.
I feed on scripture and words of wisdom. And while I try to fit in bits and pieces throughout the day, I often struggle with that really good faith workout. It takes practice, and patience and determination. And just like exercise, the payoff is well worth the effort.
What are some ways you have incorporated your faith journey into your day? Do you struggle with it or have you found balance? I would love to hear your thoughts!
You might remember Andrea from her post on Go Ask Mom in June. She is a Raleigh mom who will begin this month writing monthly on faith and parenting. She can be found at her blog Lil-Kid-Things, on Facebook or on Twitter.