Go Ask Mom

Go Ask Mom

Dad's View: So many things in life are worse

Posted August 18, 2010

I could name 100 things that are worse than our situation. Like a wise person told me, no matter what your situation is, it’s yours when you’re in it.

Our six-month-old just underwent hip dysplasia repair surgery. The only visible scars are the body cast that she now wears, and the tiny incisions we can see on her thighs when changing a diaper.

According to, “the location of the problem can be either the ball of the hip joint, the socket of the hip joint, or both.” In our daughter’s case, both of her legs were out of their sockets, and one of the sockets is “shallow.” Doctors expect that the socket will mold around the bone now that the socket is in joint. She’ll be in the cast until the end of October.

We’ve been here before. In fact, my wife has been here three times. She doesn’t remember the first time, which was when her hips were out of joint at six months of age. Yes, it’s hereditary, according to doctors. Our six-year-old went through the same thing. I’ll share her thoughts on this experience in my September blog.

At times, I feel sorry for myself. Why are we tucking newborn diapers into a small opening in this cast, when a six-month-old should be in larger diapers? Why will our child develop a little slower than other children? Why was our family chosen to go through this?

In every visit to our orthopedist though, I’m reminded that there are worse developmental challenges that our child could have. Although, to keep myself sane, I remind myself that I’m in this situation. Can I be thankful for what I have, and still be allowed to feel disappointment for our situation?

Jay Hardy is the father of a six-year-old and a baby in Holly Springs. He's a former sports photographer and reporter for WRAL-TV.



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  • delaneymoney Aug 19, 2010

    i'm sorry for what you and your family is going through. while it's hard to think about it at this time - like you said it could be so much worse. i'm lucky enough to have a very healthy 2 1/2 year old and want more kids, but that may not be in the cards for us. compared to people that have no children at all we are very lucky, but it's hard to see that right now. good luck and best wishes.

  • Twittyfan Aug 19, 2010

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I know you are very Thankful for everything but it is ok to feel emotions because that will make you stronger.

  • djrbeal Aug 18, 2010

    From one dad to another, you all are in my prayers. We can,t always choose our own destiny,you can feel however you want,but in the end you'll probably realize that it's all loves energy.Applied, it will see us through.

  • cmk617 Aug 18, 2010

    So sorry your family has to go through this. It is true that things could be worse, but that doesn't mean that your feelings aren't valid. You feel for your daughters' struggles and wish it was not necessary. That's called caring- and being a good Dad. :)