Loving but firm

When I was growing up I never once doubted my mother's love for me. She taught my siblings and I to love God, respect ourselves and others and honor our family name.

I remember questioning her once about why she had to be so strict. She promptly replied, "Because your father and I make the rules and we don't need 12 year-old friends." Guess who didn't have anymore questions on that topic?

I've read that this is the age that teens test their boundaries. So I braced myself for the questions and told myself that everything would be fine as long as he understood: The rules do not change! I must admit I battle with the urge to be a little lenient because I don’t want to be the mean ole stepmother. But given my upbringing, I strongly believe children need consistent, loving but firm guidance.

Recently, during a family conference, I heard my mother’s words, but my lips were moving and the voice was my own. The phrase just came out after one too many questions: “Your father and I make the rules and we don’t need any 13-year-old friends.”

The look on his face told the story. I wonder if that’s what I looked like when my mom made the same exclamation all those years ago. Just as she did, I explained that we loved him but that we would not waiver in our attempt to mold him into a respectful, productive and decent young man. When the conference was over, my husband told me that I was right on point. I couldn’t take the credit. I told him that was courtesy of my mom.

Funny how things work out. My son hasn’t questioned the Melvin House rules since that conversation and I believe our relationship is getting stronger. By the way, now that I’m an adult, my mother and I are best friends.