One of the nurses who cared for my mother at the hospital this past week told me that it seems strange that we celebrate when a child is born, and mourn when someone leaves the world. Because in reality, that child has many struggles and obstacles to face ahead of him in his life, yet, the person who is leaving the world has only peace to look forward to.
My mother made the decision this week to discontinue treatment and come home after a long, arduous fight with brain cancer that has left her tired, sick and ready to find some modicum of peace in whatever time she has left. It was not an easy decision. It was not a decision she took lightly, but it was her decision.
This new path we have begun to travel with the help of Hospice is not one that I expected to come so soon.
It is not one that has specific milestones like doctors’ appointments and test results. Instead, it is one that we walk hour by hour, each wondering what comes next.
It is frightening to watch as the sun sets on the life of a person you love. As she begins the journey down the other side of the mountain, you can’t go. You can only stand at the peak and watch her drift away in the distance until she is just a speck that you can barely make out. I will be there watching until she disappears from my view, but she will never disappear from my heart.
Amanda is the mom of two, a reporter for WRAL-TV and the author of several books including three on motherhood. Find her here on Mondays. Follow Amanda's mom's story on her CaringBridge site.