Help a Mom: Grandma wonders if son-in-law's name calling is abuse

I received this troubling email from a reader, a grandmother. Here's what she wrote:

I also checked in with Sarah Currier, chief program officer for Prevent Child Abuse North Carolina. Here's what she tells me:

"We all have an obligation to ensure children have the safe, stable, nurturing relationships they need to thrive. That includes intervening when we see a child being maltreated.

This grandmother absolutely did the right thing by stepping in. When children are yelled at in a shaming way over a long period of time, it can cause “toxic stress.” This results in permanent damage to their developing brains, and leads to long-term physical and mental health problems.

When things have calmed down and her son-in-law can talk about the incident calmly, she can thank him for his efforts to be an involved father and talk about ways he can learn more about child development and age-appropriate discipline.

Suggestions can include talking to their pediatrician about child development, joining a parent support group, or attending parenting classes. While parenting can be challenging at times, no child deserves to be in a situation where their well-being is at risk.

County Departments of Social Service are the appropriate local point of contact to refer families when there is a suspicion of abuse and neglect. At any point, the grandmother can call the local department to determine whether or not the situation meets the legal definition of abuse and if a referral is necessary.