Go Ask Mom

Go Ask Mom

On Mother's Day and beyond: Realistic daily decadences for moms

Posted May 10, 2012

Lori Verni-Fogarsi

Editor's Note: This month, Lori Verni-Fogarsi, a local mom and author of the new book 'Momnesia,' is sharing weekly posts, reminding us moms that's important not to forget about ourselves. Check back next Friday for another post. Click here to read my earlier post about Lori.

Do you ever feel as if you’re on a treadmill? Running from one responsibility to the next, driving yourself to as-near-perfection-as-possible while juggling ten balls, making you feel like an exhausted version of a circus triathlete?

If so, you’re not alone. For many women, and particularly moms, the above description is just another day, each one spinning into the next in a tornado of activity. Activities which, for the most part, involve taking care of others: the kids, the pets, the house, the job, the husband, the plants, and the many other things we’re responsible for.

Yet what about our Selves? Usually, when time crunches tightly, our own needs are the first to suffer, leaving us wondering how activities such as showering could start seeming like a luxury! A shower where you shampoo your hair and shave your legs in the same session? Woo hoo! Over the top!

OK, I jest. But there is some truth in every joke. In my novel, “Momnesia,” an unconventional entrepreneur, struggling between her “momminess” and her “sexiness,” diagnoses herself with Momnesia and sets about finessing a new version of her old vivaciousness. She comes to the conclusion that she’s allowed herself to become so overrun by her responsibilities that there’s nothing left of her Self. She decides to find balance, striving to be a great mom and good to herself, both at the same time.

Basically, she’s my hero. Gaining inspiration from the character in my book, I’ve sought balance in my own life and have found ways to implement Small Daily Decadences. Initially, it may seem exhausting to try and fit even one more thing into your schedule, but I’ve found that doing these little things makes me feel less resentful and more energetic overall.

Some of the little things I enjoy include lighting scented candles even when no company is coming, eating a Hershey’s kiss and actually taking the time to savor it, and preparing espresso for myself when afternoon exhaustion kicks in… even using my adorable teeny cups and teeny spoons that I love so much.

Other suggestions include wearing your “big girl” clothes instead of “saving them” for some fictional day when you won’t have to worry about ruining them, and learning that sometimes, you actually can say, “No, thank you, Mommy does not want to play Twister (again).”

What about you? Can you think of some Small Daily Decadences you can work into your daily life? Maybe your gift to yourself this Mother’s Day can be to think of them, start doing them, and commit to keep them an important part of all your days moving forward!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Lori Verni-Fogarsi is the author of the new novel, "Momnesia." She has been a freelance writer, columnist, journalist, and seminar speaker for more than 15 years, and has authored one nonfiction book, "Everything You Need to Know About House Training Puppies and Adult Dogs," which has been widely acclaimed in its genre. Lori is a happily married mom of two, step mom of two more, and has two cats, both rotten. She invites you to learn more at and join her on Facebook.

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  • Mom2two May 11, 2012

    My husband made lunches and put the kids on the bus so I could sleep in...until 6:40! I woke up rested for the first time in many days. But this happened because I ASKED HIM TO. He was glad to do it, but many times with men you have to ASK. (not as in permission, but in a statement of "This is what I need from you right now.")