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We're fielding a question today from a mom with a toddler who keeps hitting older kids. Here's what she wrote:
I am looking for advice or suggestions for age appropriate discipline for my 23-month-old son, who has begun to hit/kick other (older) children on the playground, at the park, and at my daughter's preschool. Thanks!
Please share your ideas in the comments box below. (If you don't see the comments box below, you'll need to log in or sign up for a WRAL account. You can do that by going to the top of the page and clicking on either "log in" or "register").
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May 1, 2012 10:56 p.m.
May 2, 2012 6:03 a.m.
May 2, 2012 9:05 a.m.
This page has a good summary of many reactions you can try:
http://www.ivillage.com/hitting-when-your-toddler-hits/6-n-146051
I also know someone who tried stickers - a sticker for each time they get through an encounter without hitting, then a treat when they get X number of stickers (a small treat for a day's worth, a big treat for a week, maybe).
Good luck - my son's best friend hit my son last weekend, and it was a big shock for my son and I. I know the BFF has good parents, and that my son isn't really hurt by it, but it was still weird. They went on to play happily for another 2 hrs, through dinner, so it worked out in the end.
May 2, 2012 10:13 a.m.
At your daughter's preschool, there's absolutely no reason why he should have access to other children. He can hold your hand (the entire time), sit in a stroller, or be carried. Ignore whines and protests. It's not fair to the children being hit, and it's not the teacher's job to control your toddler.
As far as the other situations go, you need to shadow him. This is a "hands-on" thing and you can't sit on the bench chatting. Give him the words he needs. Ask other child if he can build sandcastle or slide with them. He's a baby, you've got to hover until he matures. Don't expect the decision making abilities that your preschool child has.
May 2, 2012 1:23 p.m.
Anyway, it would also be a great idea to get him involved with a mother's morning out type of program so he can interact with others and watch appropriate behavior first hand. Not all preschools enroll children that young. I am the director at AsheBridge Children's Academy in Cary and we accept children mid-year beginning at 15 months. Our program focuses on teaching these skills to toddlers. If you're interested, visit www.AsheBridge.com for more info. All in all, it's very normal behavior though and just needs to learn good skills to channel his desire to play.
May 2, 2012 1:31 p.m.
May 2, 2012 3:23 p.m.
That said, part of his problem could also be a lack of vocabulary and cognitive processing skills to express emotion. Teach him to sign. It doesn't have to be the entire ASL repertoire, but he should learn some basic emotional signs for when he's angry that he can substitute for hitting.
May 2, 2012 3:44 p.m.
May 2, 2012 4:35 p.m.