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Lynda Loveland: Go to school!!!!

Posted January 4, 2012

Lynda Loveland

After being out for four weeks, it was time for my kids to go back to school.

Campbell, my eight-year-old, had no problem with it. She never said one thing about not wanting to go. My son, on the other hand, is very vocal about it. And that’s putting it mildly. On  Monday, he absolutely refused to go. The only words I heard from him that morning were, “I don’t wanna go to school!” I heard it over and over and over.

Normally, I’m at work in the morning and not there for the kid’s morning routine. But it was a parent swap and my husband was at work and I was off that day. Let’s just say he can have his mornings back.

Caiden would not eat breakfast. He could not brush his teeth. He would not get ready to go! He was a Dr. Seuss book of the worst kind!
So what’s a parent to do? Offer a bribe of course! I said we’d get frozen yogurt after school to “celebrate” going back. Yeah, he didn’t even flinch on that one.

I said he couldn’t play indoor soccer if he didn’t go to school. He didn’t move a muscle except to throw a couple of superhero’s across the room.

I switched gears and played the nice guy, trying to see it from his side and said I know what he’s going through, yada yada yada.

Nothing worked and it was T minus two minutes and counting till the bus rolled up. My blood was starting to boil. This kid was going to school or else!

I got louder. Caiden got louder. It was a stalemate. My mom tried to talk him into going. Between both of us, finally, with no time to spare, we got him out the door. That was the slowest walk to the bus stop I’ve ever seen!

Of course when he got home, he was fine and said he had a good day.

I really dislike starting the day that way. Any advice for sending a super cranky kid to school?

Lynda is the mom of three and co-host of Mix 101.5 WRAL-FM's Bill & Lynda in the Morning. Find her here on Thursdays.

17 Comments

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  • sat123 Jan 6, 2012

    I'm with Rachel6 - perhaps it was the change in routine. Perhaps he thought he could get away with something because you were in charge. Was Daddy around to help?

    (I'm not doubting you as a parent - just doubting that your son is sweet and innocent! ;))

  • clif4 Jan 6, 2012

    I'm very lucky. I am in charge of waking my threee grandsons (13, 11, & 7) and having them get ready for school. I have yet to experince any problems.

    But a couple of thoughts...

    Perhaps there is some issue at school that your son is trying to avoid. A bully perhaps, or maybe a "mean" teacher? You weren't clear on whether he was like this when your husband was handling the morning routine.

  • barby Jan 6, 2012

    Lynda, you should obviously ignore advice from people who were obviously brainwashed by their own parents into confusing child abuse with child rearing. When my daughter was young she sometimes would get very upset about going to school. The most important thing is to talk to them to make sure there's nothing actually wrong such as bullying. If they just don't want to go I found one thing that works well is allowing them to take the occasional fun day off - sort of like a personal day. If they know this is an option sometime they will be more willing to go most of the time. (PS My daughter is in high school now and loves school - she never wants to stay home!)

  • cmk617 Jan 5, 2012

    Linda, I fully understand what you described. This is a typical day at my house during the first week we track back in. My kids were also out all of December and this past Monday morning was a rude awakening. :) We do all we can to prepare: choosing clothes and preparing lunches ahead, etc. It is just the transition. I also teach and it is always like this. With that said, I wouldn't change back to traditional calendar for anything. I know it's not everyone's choice, but I love having a couple weeks off four times a year. With aging parents out of state, it allows us more opportunities to see family and make memories (even simple things like going to the park or making cookies). Hang in there. There are times when you just have to press on.

  • br549znc Jan 5, 2012

    Be firm and make sure the children know who is in charge. Otherwise it will only get worse as they get older.

  • Twittyfan Jan 5, 2012

    msconnie1399 it is ok to step on some toes.. As my parents always told me "if you live under my roof you will follow my rules until you move out regardless of your age" "I have raised my children so think long and hard before you have yours because the only way I will raise them if you or your spouse are dead or disabled. I have so much respect for my parents today because they were stern and stood by their word.. I had to have the house clean from one end to the other EVERYDAY!! We had to do homework first and we also had to rake leaves and cut grass. that was expected because our parents worked.. No back talk or you got your behind beat or your legs streaked with a switch.. you ate what they provided or you were sent to your room period. You were not allowed to go to McDonalds etc or your mom didn't cook you more food. I had a great childhood and I live my life through what I was taught by my wonderful parents.. I AM PAYING MY PARENTS BACK BY LOOKING AFTER THEM AND IT IS PRICELESS!!!

  • msconnie1399 Jan 5, 2012

    WELL I AM GOING THRU THE GRAD KIDS THAT DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL, EAT GO TO THE BATHROOM....I TOLD MY SO (WHO JUST MOVED BACK IN) TO TAKE AWAY THE IPODS UNTIL THEY LISTEN...FIX THEM A PLATE IF THEY DON'T EAT IT THEY GET IT FOR BREAKFAST AND NO JUNK FOOD TO KEEP THEM FROM STARVING.THOSE THINGS ARE RAISING KIDS WHEN MY KIDS WERE GROWING UP THERE WAS NO TV IN THEIR ROOMS THEY WATCHED NO TV SUNDAY 6PM- THURSDAY NITE SAD TO SAY PARENTS ARE AFRAID OF THEIR OWN KIDS...DON'T WANT TO MAKE THEM MAD AND GIVE IN TO THEM....NOOOOOOO I HAVE TO HIDE IN MY ROOM TO NOT GET INVOLVED

  • rachel6 Jan 5, 2012

    It may be the change in routine. Since your husband normally gets them ready and out the door, maybe your son realized you would be home and really wanted to stay home to spend more time with you. Maybe. I'm ashamed to admit that when my kids pull out the "but I don't want to" I often respond with something true (but try and keep it a little bit silly) like "well, I don't want wash your stinky underwear, but I have to" or "I don't like cleaning potties, but I do it" etc. Sometimes (if I keep it funny...unfortunately it seems that all kids like stinky or potty humor) it'll get a smile and loosen them up enough to get things moving.

  • bhenderson Jan 5, 2012

    I agree with Twittyfan. You must always stand your ground. I raised my two sons by myself beginning when they were two yrs. old and 11 months. I worked full time, had no husband around to help when things got out of hand, so I HAD to keep a handle on thngs. When my oldest was in seventh grade, I decided to let him miss school one Wednesday to go on a one day ski trip with a friend and the friends mother. I did this because he had good grades and excellent attendance. On the weekend prior to the Wednesday ski trip, I asked his friend what his mother was going to write on his note for the reason he was missing school on Wednesay. Before he could answer, my son spoke up and said that they wouldn't be missing school, that it was a teacher work day. We told him no, that it was a school day. He looked at his friend and said I can't go on the trip. His friend said, "why not". My son said "because, it's against the law to miss school if you are not sick". Might want to try that one

  • TeenDAD Jan 5, 2012

    Just dont send him to school, its not for everyone. The world needs ditch diggers too.

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