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Help a Mom: Toddler potties only when cousin visits

Posted December 20, 2011

This week, a grandmother needs some help with her granddaughter. Here's what she writes:

"My granddaughter, who turns three this month, will not go to the bathroom unless my other granddaughter takes her. That is a problem because one lives in Charlotte and the other in Knightdale, How can we get her to go to the potty all the time instead of using her Pull-Ups. Mommy and Nanny need help to get her completely trained."

Can you help this grandma? Please share in the comments box below. (If you don't see the comments box below, you'll need to log in or sign up for a WRAL account. You can do that by going to the top of the page and clicking on either "log in" or "register").

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26 Comments

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  • storchheim Dec 22, 2011

    "Taking away the pullups, informing her that if she can chose to go when her cousin is here and having her clean her own mess, as well as giving her rewards for success is the best advice I've seen on here yet."

    "That's just cruel..."

    Could you please point to the cruel parts?

  • storchheim Dec 22, 2011

    "Parents are NOT in charge of their children's bodily functions or potty uses..This only results with the parents being trained, not the child wanting to use the potty because it is a natural thing to do when they are ready."

    Nonsense. Parents MUST be in charge. That's what makes them parents. And some children are lazy and prefer to keep using diapers instead of the toilet. Parents don't let children tell them what to do and when to do it. Of course some parents are too lazy to train, so they mouth a lot of stuff about how it's natural to use the toilet when the little genius decides it's time.

    Do your children also tell you what they're going to eat, and when?

  • caoakley2004 Dec 22, 2011

    Honestly, my little one was not fully trained until she was almost four. I fretted, I worried, I bribed, I tried stickers and rewards, we tried sitting on the potty until she went and she would have none of it. Then one day it all just kind of clicked. I would say give her time. She will get there when she gets there. As our adopted Grandmother told us. She won't go to kindergarten in diapers/pullups.

  • JAT Dec 22, 2011

    There are some harsh mommies on here - I should save this forum to read to my child when she's older so she'll see how nice I was to her. What's the big deal on potty training? They learn when they're ready.

  • JAT Dec 22, 2011

    "Taking away the pullups, informing her that if she can chose to go when her cousin is here and having her clean her own mess, as well as giving her rewards for success is the best advice I've seen on here yet."

    That's just cruel, but seeing the responses on here makes me feel like a pretty nice parent.

  • Familymatters Dec 21, 2011

    To finish, "chose to go when her cousin is here then she can chose to go all the time or clean her own mess"

  • Familymatters Dec 21, 2011

    Parents are NOT in charge of their children's bodily functions or potty uses..This only results with the parents being trained, not the child wanting to use the potty because it is a natural thing to do when they are ready. I'm confirming what I said earlier since others want to contradict instead of give this grandma ideas that might help other than "who is in charge". Ridiculous.
    Click to view my profile macharsam
    December 21, 2011 4:17 p.m

    After raising and potty training 4 children I will tell you right now you are more wrong than you ever thought you possibly could be.

    Taking away the pullups, informing her that if she can chose to go when her cousin is here and having her clean her own mess, as well as giving her rewards for success is the best advice I've seen on here yet.

  • jenjengirl89 Dec 21, 2011

    Sounds to me like the child is conflicted and confused by having too many mommies. Let your daugher raise her own chld and stay out of it.

  • dtafil Dec 21, 2011

    I would keep the cousin involved. Maybe, at first, let her call the cousin if she has used the potty successfully. You could also have a sticker chart and if she fills it the cousin will bring by a special treat for her the next time she comes. Eventually the cousin can be involved less and less. I don't think it has anything to do with control but with the fact that she is comfortable with someone closer to her own age taking her to the bathroom.

  • snowl Dec 21, 2011

    Parents are NOT in charge of their children's bodily functions or potty uses..This only results with the parents being trained, not the child wanting to use the potty because it is a natural thing to do when they are ready. I'm confirming what I said earlier since others want to contradict instead of give this grandma ideas that might help other than "who is in charge". Ridiculous.

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