Were you bullied at school? Chances are you still remember who did it and when, but did you know that past bullying could be the cause of your current anxiety, fatigue and – yes – even your runny nose?

An Australian study just published found that adults who were bullied as children were more likely than others to suffer from depression and anxiety, as well as many other physical ills, including fatigue, pain and a greater susceptibility to colds, MSNBC reports. Apparently, the daily stress of being bullied can wreak long-term damage on your body.

A couple of decades ago, bullying was considered a rite of passage at school, and many parents encouraged their children to “stand up for themselves.” Other kids just never told their parents and took matters into their own hands. A girlfriend of mine who now has four children told me last week that she was regularly getting beaten up at school, until she paid another “bully” to bully her tormentor. The going fee was $1 back then, and once the deed was done, my friend said her school days were bully-free.

Obviously, her method of perpetuating the cycle isn’t recommended. Especially since the shooting at Columbine High School in Colorado in 1999, parents and schools have been working to rein in bullying. In Durham, a pilot program, called Peaceful Schools North Carolina, teaches students, staff and parents how to diffuse potentially volatile situations, WRAL reports. Bullying isn’t just seen as physical violence but anything that damages a person’s self esteem. Organizers of the program hope to take the program state-wide.

So what can parents and kids do about bullying? Open communication between parents, students and school leaders is an important first step in stopping school violence before it starts, writes Jane Paige, who interviewed Triangle-area and state school officials for Carolina Parent. To encourage students to talk about safety concerns, North Carolina runs a statewide safe schools tip line – 888-960-9600 – where students can call in anonymously and talk with a communications specialist who gathers information, prepares a written report and sends it to the school.

Parents should also find out what their children’s school is doing to maintain a safe learning environment and know their own children’s typical behavior patterns so they can recognize potential warning signs.

Getting inside a bully’s head to understand what motivates him or her can put you at an advantage for helping your child as well as the bully, who may be suffering from mental health problems or other issues. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Bullies, Carolina Parent writer Emily Gorovsky looks at 7 antidotes to bullying behavior. For example, bullies generally feel contempt for their targets, so teaching children to have a strong sense of self can turn the situation around.

No longer should adults assume bullying is part of growing up or tell children who are targets of bullying to work it out or deal with it. Bullying moves beyond conflict to contempt for others and should be nipped in the bud.

Were you bullied as a child? Or were you a bully? Share your stories and comments with us.