Lynda LovelandLynda Loveland's Babyology Blog
WRAL Morning News Anchor Lynda Loveland recently delivered her third child, Carys. In her blog, Lynda chronicles her experiences as a mother.

Potty training the boy

Whoever said potty training boys was harder than girls, put it mildly.  My son Caiden turned three last month.  He remains un-potty trained.  My daughter Campbell was completely trained by the time she was 2 1/2, even over-night!  My son, not so much.

We gauged Caiden's interest when he was 2 1/2.  On a scale of 1 -10, his interest level was about a -4.  So we waited.   A few months later we started slowly, very casually.  The kid WAILED to have his diaper on.  Did not want any part of underwear, even the cute boxer briefs I bought him.  If we changed his diaper and didn't put a new one on and walked away...he would grab a diaper and run after us, SCREAMING to put it back on.  The interest level was still seriously low.  So we waited.

The ladies at daycare were trying to help us out and suggested putting underwear on over his diaper.  But one morning my husband decided to skip the diaper all together and just do the undies.  Would you believe the boy went dry all day!!!!!  Like magic, he was great for about five days straight.  Even staying dry during nap time!! 

Then my husband and I went on vacation for a week, just the two of us.  It was WONDERFUL!!!  We totally re-charged our batteries.  Our son, re-charged his desire to not use the potty.  It wasn't a set-back.  It was a JUMP-back!  I bet we went through 3-5 pairs of underwear a day. 

We finally kind of got things back on track the last week or so.  He'll pee in the toilet sometimes.  We're trying to teach him to stand but he uses the toilet tank and wall as a backboard.  Bank shots are for basketball, not urination!  It's like a fire hose that got away.  We even put things in the toilet for him to hit.  I figure at least he's making an effort to pee but he refuses to poop.  I don't understand it.  He did it before. And we were all so proud!! 

Like clockwork, every evening he makes a deposit in his drawers.  That telltale sag, makes me cringe.  I'd take him to the bathroom to change him and it was like a game of "Operation".  You know that game where you had tweezers and you tried to remove bones from a person without setting off the buzzer.  It was like that, trying to pull his pants down in such a way that you didn't soil anything that wasn't already soiled.  And trying to keep everything in his pants without it rolling onto the ground.  It gets a bit stressful, especially when I have a rowdy crowd watching right at my heels (my two daughters).  At this point, Caiden and I are masters.

We've tried rewards, chocolates, lots of praise and it doesn't work.  We ask him every five minutes if he has to go.  We stopped asking and let him tell us.  Still, he holds back, literally and figuratively. 

So tonight, I'm making a rewards poster with stickers.  He loves Spiderman and all Superheroes.  So, I'm making a big poster with a spider web on it.  Every time he pees, he gets a small sticker.  The poops get a big sticker.  I'll keep you posted! 

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Don't sweat it, I don't know why parents get so caught up in having their kids potty trained by 2. My daughter was almost 3 1/2 when "she" decided she was ready, and once that happend it was so smooth, I literally did nothing. I used pull ups for about 2 months and she was always waking up dry so we got rid of those, she was totally independant when she was ready to take that step. He will get it soon enough, dont worry and don't let other mothers put pressure on you to get him trained, it will only back fire.

Good luck! My son was more difficult to train than my daughter. My daughter decided one day she was finished with diapers and pull-ups and that was it. My son was a completely different story. He had no interest in potty training for quite a while, but after some gentle encouragement, he gradually potty trained. My problem ended up being my son waiting till the last minute when he had to do #2 and having an accident or worse going outside in the yard.

Linda this is literally an answered prayer to my need of being soothed in this area of concern in our family! My daughter's going to be 3 at the end of July- and she's had some developmental delays, so she definately isn't interested in the potty. I feel so pressured to have her trained by fall for preschool, or try to find a preschool that will attend to diapers- haha ha.

This journal entry's made me feel at least a little better about the fact that she's not the last child on the planet who's in a diaper at three.

PS-The worst is when the grandparents or others close to us are constantly saying 'So when is she going to loose the diaper?'. Gurr!

Lynda we went through this whole scenario with my son! He literally had no interest whatsoever in potty training and I swear would have worn pull-ups forever. We did everything! He was almost 4 1/2 before one day he magically got it. He decided he wanted to wear underwear one morning and that was it. It's now been a year and we still have some trouble with #2 as well. Don't sweat it, he'll do it when he's ready. As my son's daycare teacher told us, he won't go to kindergarden in diapers so don't worry!

Some tips from a ten-year-plus nanny:

Boys aren't necessarily harder, just different, as is each child.

Get Pullups: They get one per day. If they soil it, they get back in a diaper until the next day. Then start over again.

Make a Goodie Bag: A zip lock bag filled with stickers, M&Ms, trinkets, etc., that the child gets to choose from when they do a job in the potty.

Magic Water: Encourage the child to make the water magic by using blue deodorizer in the pot which will turn green when they tinkle.

For little boys -

Sink the Cheerios: Toss three or four Cheerios into the potty and tell them to sink the Cheerio. Of course they can't, but it sometimes helps them to improve their aim.

Develop a Potty Cheer: And chant cheerfully while child is on the potty.

Do the Potty Dance: Entire family does a happy jig with the child when they have performed well while chanting the above.

And always remember - you're their loving coach, not their boss or disciplinarian.

I agree that the child will be trained when they are ready. Otherwise, it is the parents who are "trained". Just let it go and have him wear pull-ups. When you look back on this years from now you will have forgotten all about it!

I almost spit out my water while reading this. My baby boy just turned 10 and this brought back so many forgotten memories. Thank you, and in time, he'll get it.

All you have to do is wait for someone in daycare or Sunday School to say something to him about the diapers!! Works like magic...from a caring grandmother!!

Ok, here's what worked to get my son to stinky potty. We figured out what time each evening he usually went in his pull up. I would take him to go pee and then make him sit till he did it. He fought me as hard as he could. The first night we sat there for 1 hour, the second night almost 2 hours. The third night, I sat with him for about 5 min and then stepped out of the bath room to give him some privacy, and TA-DA!!! It worked beautifully. He's only had one accident, and has a very regular schedule. It was very hard to do, I have 3 kids total. And takes a lot of patients, but it worked :)

We have a son who is just 10 days younger than Caiden. Here's what I did to get him trained. First, he got a quarter each time he went stinky (yes, this does get expensive but it worked!). I let him put the quarter in a jar with the promise that he could go to Target and buy any toy he wanted once he went stinky in the potty every time. He actually was much more interested in going stinky in the potty at first. So, the quarters worked wonders for us. We also told him that diapers were for babies and he didn't like that at all since he is so interested in being a big boy. We had more of a challenge getting him to pee in the potty and I did notice that once I put him in underwear every day that it didn't take long for him to get the hang of going pee in the potty. I did have some messes to clean up but that only lasted a few days. Hope this helps some! Good luck!

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