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Staff members of Carolina Parent magazine provide insight, tips and suggestions on making the most of family life.

That sex talk with kids should be ongoing

New research suggests that it's not a good idea to just have that one big "sex talk" with your kids. Instead, a study published in the March issue of Pediatrics recommends that you encourage an ongoing dialogue about sex with your children, so that your kids are less likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors.

But wait a minute...no parent relishes the idea of that one big "sex talk", much less an ongoing dialogue! Sex talk between parents and kids is guaranteed to be uncomfortable for all parties involved.

Yet, according to Steven Martino, a behavioral scientist and lead author of the study, "when asked where they'd like to get their information about sex, kids say from thier parents more than anyone else. As children grow and have experiences, you want them to feel it's natural to talk to their parents."

Martino adds that it's okay to let your children know you're uncomfortable, but explain that sex is such an important topic that you need to talk about it anyway. Starting the first conversations when your children are young is also highly recommended.

The study does not prove that kids whose parents talk more openly about sex with them will have less sex.  However,  research does show a clear association between parents who are more open and kids who wait longer to have sex, have less teen pregnancy and less seually transmitted diseases. Bottom line--communication is really important.

For more details on how the study was conducted, refer to the March 2008 of Pediatrics.

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Thanks for your comment. An on-going dialogue about sex, drugs and alcohol is the approach I took with all three of my kids, now aged 19-24,and based on my experience, would recommend it highly. By tackling typically taboo or uncomfortable subjects with your children, you pave the way for open communication in both directions. Kids are inclined to be more honest if their parents establish a culture of openess and sincerety early on and reinforce it often throughout childhood. These open conversations with parents also contribute greatly to childrens' self-esteem.

I think this sounds like good information and advice. By making sex a topic that's approachable rather than taboo, and one that is only broached one big time, the conversation is bound to be less embarrassing all around. This is the approach my husband and I plan to take with our son, but this post validates our reasoning. Good topic, Carolina Parent, and certainly very timely.

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