On Thursday my daughter and I are heading to Greensboro to meet up with her former foster mom and daughter. She was with them for about ten months and they really did a remarkable job helping her settle down.

We have 'made' them her aunt and cousin, so they still have a formal role in her world. It worked out really well because both the foster mother and I are only children, so this gives us more family.

When most people find out we stay in touch with them, they immediately ask me why the foster family didn't adopt her. They didn't for her benefit and their own. They wanted her to have a chance to start over fresh where no one knew the struggles she had been through, somewhere she'd be the center of attention. They had two teenagers and had picked out land to built their retirement home on - they were just at a different stage of live to take on a youngster. It was a tough decision for them not to adopt her.

However, they still loved her and wanted to keep in touch. We were thrilled. Our daughters needs as many people from her past who love her to stay around. She has had too many losses already.

When this process started, her foster mom was very supportive of the situation and gave me so many tips that made our daughter's transition much easier. Plus she is just a really kind hearted and open woman, the type who is easy to talk to and happy to have people around her. Plus doesn't hurt that the foster mother has raised two great kids and her teenage daughter is polite, smart and a really nice kid. She is a great role model for HH.

I wish we saw them more but life is pretty busy on both ends. But HH knows they are still there for her and that helps her understand that they didn't abandon her, they just gave her the chance she deserved. They are still here for her and still love her. That message is so important for adopted children who tend to internalize guilt that they did something to make their birthparents abandon them - even if that isn't the case at all.

So Thursday we'll hit Build-a-Bear, share some laughs and hugs and hopefully head back home with full hearts.