Ten things I wish someone told me before adopting an older child

We got a lot of advice when we were becoming first time parents through adoption, the highlights below...

--Always kiss and hug your children everyday, make sure to tell them that you love them daily too.

--Tell them how proud you are of them.

--Spend time with your children to really talk to them and get to know them and their daily goings.

--If you clean up a bit each day, the mess won't be so great. Kids can help clean up!

--No matter what is going on always be there for your children and make sure they can always come and talk to you. --Don't force food on your kids, they will eat when they are hungry.

--Don't be afraid to admit when you made a mistake, it shows your child that grown ups can make them also and it will help them learn from their own as they grow up.

--Trust your instincts --Remember to take care of yourself, body and soul. As parents (mothers especially) we need to remember that we are vases from which our little flowers draw water. If you don't keep the vase full, there will be no water to give.

All of that is very good advice but there was a ton of things I wish someone had told us. Maybe you all know these things but I didn't. I know my husband didn't, because I had to tell him once I learned them.

1. Carry kleenex and wipes everywhere. Dirt, stain and gross things abound.

2. Your new name is Mommy. Your husband is Daddy. Or you are HH's mom. You don't exist anymore as your own name.

3. What it takes to put your child to bed often puts you to sleep.

4. Your level of cuisine bottoms out.

5. Children will make you repeat any song they find catchy until your ears bled.

6. There is a subset of mothers who will get in line for carpool 45 to 30 minutes before school gets out every day. These women also pack wonderful healthy lunches, make beautiful cookies and crafts and dress fabulously. Do not fear, their children will grow up to be nutcases.

7. Get yourself books - several - go for cheesy ones if you like. The amount of time spent waiting is huge - doctor's offices, carpool, tub, practices, just watching them play outside, you name it.

8. Timers are very handy. Get one for the table, the bathroom, everywhere they delay.

9. I knew my husband and I would have less free time but I didn't quite understand how much time we'd be apart. All sorts of little things like errands, bathtime, bedtime, bathroom and homework split up you and your mate. Most days I don't have an adult conversation with him unless I call him at work.

10. I never knew how quickly you can love someone - or how quickly they can then make you as annoyed as you've ever been.