End of an era
We had a goodbye event with her therapist Hody at the house here. She and HH talked, we talked and then we all ate ice cream cake and chatted. It was a bittersweet moment - I feel like my support net was completely gone now, eventhough she is still available. But I'm proud as heck of this family.
She praised Jeff and I a lot, and ask us to continue being a resource for new families and advocating in general when we can. Unlike normal, I'm not going to deflect the praise and I'll accept it because we have worked hard and been open to changing things. But so much of the work was HH with the therapist and the therapist with me. Her guidance through so many issues related to HH and adoption in general was amazing.
Honestly, we could have stopped a few months ago but we kept going to work on some of the communication issues with her birth family because we didn't know how HH would react to the introduction of some people into her world. She's been fine, so we knew it was time to move past this. It did let us work on a great family tree project too that helped HH place everyone in her life (birth family was roots, foster family bushes, she was the tree trunk and our family/ies the top of the trees). All very detailed and all equally important.
Will HH need counseling again? Quite possibly. I harbor no illusions that she is healed and the issues of her past won't rear their ugly head as she reaches different levels of development. But she is doing wonderfully now and we don't want to "over-therapize" this child. It was a big deal when the social workers said goodbye to HH. It is another big deal now that therapy has ended. For the first time in a very long time, she is operating as a normal child. Of course her adoption is something we are open about but she has no more people looking over our collective shoulders, offering input. It is just us.
In some respects I wish I had met Jody outside of this because I would have loved to be her friend. Her advice, even her simple validation of my thoughts has been a gift I can never repay. There aren't too many people that I trust completely in this world. She is one of those people I'll pray for the rest of my life. I don't think she knows how amazing she is but she surely is leaving a legacy of children who she has helped heal.
I need to send a huge thank you to CHS for employing her and setting things up so she is available whenever we need her, not just for office appointments - for home visits, emails and phone calls. And the most wonderful thing is that we never paid ONE DIME for all of this therapy. CHS gives it all for free.
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