What's on Tap

What's on Tap

LEGO Ninjago Movie only exists so you'll buy stuff

Posted September 21

LEGO Ninjago Movie

— You all seemed to really enjoy the way I involved my wife in my review of IT. This week, I am reviewing the LEGO Ninjago Movie. I hated it. It isn’t even a movie. It is a 90 minute commercial.

My 6-year-old son Aaron, however loved it. So this week, I thought we would keep the family tradition alive and do another Q & A style review. Enjoy!

DEMETRI: Who did you like about the Lego Ninjago movie, pal?

AARON: I liked the Legos. They were cool.

D: Yeah, I think that’s what they want you to say.

A: The dragon was cool. Can you buy me the dragon mech?

D: No.

A: Awwwwww. Why not?

D: You just got an iPad for your birthday. We can download a Ninjago app if you’d like.

A: But it’s not the same. Please? I’ll let you build it for me!

D: That’s not the strong selling point you think it is.

A: I just want some more Ninjago guys and I want Garmadon because of his arms.

D: The bad guy with four arms?

A: He was silly.

LEGO Ninjago Movie

D: Yeah, but didn’t he just sound like Lego Batman?

A: Was he Lego Batman?

D: No, Batman wasn’t in this one.

A: Nooooo! Daaaady! I mean in real life is Garmadon also Lego Batman?

D: Oh. No. Lego Batman is a guy named Will Arnett. Garmadon is a guy named Justin Theroux.

A: Theroux is a funny name. It sounds like robot.

LEGO Ninjago Movie

D: Did you notice how bad the story was? It was like Star Wars but worse.

A: Everything is worse than Star Wars.

D: Good boy!

A: Did you not like the movie because you don’t like Legos?

D: I don’t mind Legos.I just think this was the worst of the Lego movies.

A: I don’t.

D: That’s fine. You’re six.

A: Did you like the movie at all?

D: I liked the Michael Strahan Lego guy. He made me laugh.

A: I don’t know who that is.

LEGO Ninjago Movie

D: That’s fine. I also liked the part where a kitten came and destroyed the city.

A: [read this line like you were saying it to a dog] That kitty looked like my kitty but when she was a baby.

D: She did. I liked that too. It’s weird how much work Jackie Chan is getting these days. Also, why did he carve a wooden Lego?

A: I don’t know who that is.

D: The old man in the beginning.

A: Oh.

D: Is there anything you didn’t like about the movie?

A: When you were mean to me.

D: When was that?

A: Daddy, remember? I said I wanted Starburst and you said 'no?' And then I said I wanted Dr. Pepper and you said 'no?'

D: Yeah. It was 9:30 in the morning.

A: That’s what I didn’t like. It made me sad.

D: Oh stop. We went out for chicken fingers after and I let you get a milkshake.

A: [angry grunt]


Demetri Ravanos is a member of the North Carolina Film Critics Association and has reviewed movies for Raleigh and Company, Military1.com and The Alan Kabel Radio Network.

Comments

Please with your WRAL.com account to comment on this story. You also will need a Facebook account to comment.

Oldest First
View all