Editor's Note: I'm excited to introduce Kianey Carter, who welcomed her first child a few months ago, to our roster of bloggers. She'll write monthly starting today!
My son is six months old and I love this stage of his life. He is so curious and wants to get into everything. He laughs at my silly jokes and faces, but still snuggles into my chest when he needs comforting.
As happy as I am about this stage of development, I want more! Our son is on the verge of crawling and I cannot wait for him to take those first crawls and steps. Last week, our pediatrician finally gave the thumbs up for my husband and I to start solid foods.
I was pumped! I went out and bought bowls and spoons and read everything online I could find about making your own baby food. My husband, on the other hand, was not. He just kept asking me, why I was so excited to give him solid foods. All I could think about were the possibilities and how independent he was becoming.
Our first foray into solids went wonderful. This little guy can eat and couldn’t get enough of his oatmeal. As first time parents, we videotaped the whole thing and sent it to our parents and sisters. I was so happy and proud. After that first bowl of oatmeal, I was already planning our next culinary explorations – peas, carrots, sweet potatoes, the possibilities are endless!
But then, the other shoe dropped. As I sat down in the rocking chair to nurse my growing baby boy, he refused. I thought he was just tired so I tried again. Again, he refused but this time the refusal was followed by screams and cries.
The back and forth continued for 10 minutes. I called out for my husband. He brought up a bottle and as he fed our son, I went into our bedroom to reflect. I was sad and mad. I had been waiting for this day for weeks and instead of it being the exciting experience I thought it would be, I was sad. All I could think was “he doesn’t need me anymore.”
Over the next few days, I tried to nurse, but my son wanted nothing to do with nursing. He wanted the immediate satisfaction of a bottle and I gave it to him. I already miss the closeness of nursing my son throughout the day. Especially those afternoon sessions as the sun hits his sweet face giving him a shot of warmth and light.
For all you other moms, is this just the beginning? Will I have more moments where I can’t wait for the new experiences in my son’s life but long for the way it used to be?
Kianey is the mom of one and a WRAL-TV morning news producer.