Jackie Hyland: Social media faux pas

By Jackie Hyland

Posted: January 8

I like to think I'm pretty hip.

I 'm on Facebook and Twitter! I love to listen to Usher and Pit Bull! Oh, and just recently, I joined Instagram.

So did my teen daughter.

To be honest, I allowed her to join after being nagged about it. Part of the deal for allowing her to join was that she would have to allow me to follow her.

It's a scary world out there. I want to monitor her page.

Recently, I had a few spare minutes, which believe me is pretty rare. So I hopped on Instagram to take a look around ... and, yes, to see her pictures and read the comments. Everything was above board.

I noticed she posted a few new pictures, really pretty ones. So I liked a picture. I can do that right? I am her mom!

I even went one step further and commented on another picture. I wrote, "So pretty!"

Well, mere minutes after those two little words were posted on her Instagram page, I got a text. Not a positive text. She wanted to know why I commented!

I was shocked! My own daughter was upset that I posted a comment on one of her pictures. I could see if I said something negative. But it was nice!!!!

Even my husband was annoyed with me! I asked him if he was serious. I mean all I did was say my daughter was pretty. But my husband pointed out that I did it on Instagram. Her friends can read it.

Oh no! Now, I really messed up. Parenting is not easy. Add in all these social media sites and it's a nightmare!

Jackie is the mom of a tween and a teen. She is an anchor for WRAL-TV. Find her here on Go Ask Mom monthly.

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I think girls are more worried about this than boys. My son is almost 17 and I have had complete access to his email and facebook since he opened the accounts... I log and even change his status so he knows I have been there. It's called good parenting.. besides, his friends don't care... they friend request me too.. even his girlfriend :-)

angelienna
January 9, 2013 1:26 p.m.

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If I had children - well, teens in this case, I would do the exact same things said (add them as friends/followers/whatever), as well as ensure their safety - even though they may think it's embarrassing (parents and relatives did this to me on Facebook when I wrote something wacky as a status). Now, if only I could understand how to work a tablet better...my fingers are way too fat to work those things... :/

I am currently in the process of learning how this 21st-century technology works (I ALSO cannot, however, work a Smartphone with a camera for the life of me, either) and these social media sites such as Twitter, Facebook, etc. When it comes to Smartphones, tablets, and Instagrams, it seems I'm always one step behind. AND I'M 26!!!

I'm kind of like my parents (clever) when it comes to technology like this - dad's not technology-literate and I have to teach him how stuff works, while mom IS. This blog post had me in stitches laughing, too. Gotta love the 21st century... :P

Autofreak1986
January 9, 2013 1:25 p.m.

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I would NOT care if she or anyone else liked it. Tough stuff.

DGP67
January 9, 2013 12:30 p.m.

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I just see your actions as those of a very clever Mom. Now her friends know that you have access to her posts, and that may inspire better behavior online. It's good to teach kids that EVERYBODY can see what they put on social media sites.

jjrn
January 9, 2013 11:46 a.m.

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I feel your pain. Hang in there! :/

jennifer23
January 9, 2013 11:38 a.m.

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I agree with thinkb4speak

hoaburroughs
January 9, 2013 10:27 a.m.

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I see nothing wrong with what you did. I think teens go through a stage where they forget to appreciate that you took notice and only view their friends as opinions or "comments" that matter. I remember my own selfish teenage years.

hoaburroughs
January 9, 2013 10:26 a.m.

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I disagree that this is a fax paus. We went through the same with our teen daughter and son. The "occasional" comment is OK and it reminds her that she is loved. Now that they are towards the end of her teens (and he's out of his), she understands that even these small comments are important to her and us in our relationship.

bige9999
January 9, 2013 9:35 a.m.

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"Self Glorification" Isn't that why people post photos of themselves on social media? My young nieces got a new digital camera for Christmas and asked me to take group photo shots of them to post on line. I thought that each photo was just fine, but NO, they asked me to continue trying other lighting, etc. because someone was not happy with how they LOOKED! Looks are everything today....SAD.

snowl
January 9, 2013 7:49 a.m.

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I would tell her that as long as she is willing to put pictures out there on social media then she needs to accept that ANYONE including perverts, pediphiles, and 80yr old men in their boxers have access to it so a comment from Mom is the least of her concerns. If she doesn't want random comments, then she shouldn't be putting out there. It is a tough lesson, but kids today just don't realize the ramifications of putting pictures out there. Those pictures will follow them FOREVER. I am a Girl Scout Leader and I keep telling my girls that they should never put anything on the internet that they don't want their parents to see and they shouldn't take pics that they wouldn't want their Dad to see. Teach her now BEFORE she starts posting things that are not so pretty based on pressure from her friends or followers.

thinkb4speak
January 9, 2013 6:59 a.m.

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Jackie Hyland: Social media faux pas

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