Jackie Hyland: Social media faux pas

By Jackie Hyland

Posted: January 8

I like to think I'm pretty hip.

I 'm on Facebook and Twitter! I love to listen to Usher and Pit Bull! Oh, and just recently, I joined Instagram.

So did my teen daughter.

To be honest, I allowed her to join after being nagged about it. Part of the deal for allowing her to join was that she would have to allow me to follow her.

It's a scary world out there. I want to monitor her page.

Recently, I had a few spare minutes, which believe me is pretty rare. So I hopped on Instagram to take a look around ... and, yes, to see her pictures and read the comments. Everything was above board.

I noticed she posted a few new pictures, really pretty ones. So I liked a picture. I can do that right? I am her mom!

I even went one step further and commented on another picture. I wrote, "So pretty!"

Well, mere minutes after those two little words were posted on her Instagram page, I got a text. Not a positive text. She wanted to know why I commented!

I was shocked! My own daughter was upset that I posted a comment on one of her pictures. I could see if I said something negative. But it was nice!!!!

Even my husband was annoyed with me! I asked him if he was serious. I mean all I did was say my daughter was pretty. But my husband pointed out that I did it on Instagram. Her friends can read it.

Oh no! Now, I really messed up. Parenting is not easy. Add in all these social media sites and it's a nightmare!

Jackie is the mom of a tween and a teen. She is an anchor for WRAL-TV. Find her here on Go Ask Mom monthly.

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my mind is numb after seeing your pic. Forgot what I was going to say other than you are georgeous...sorry, couldn't help it.

321oohaw
January 10, 2013 9:41 p.m.

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While there was nothing you did "wrong", I have found it more beneficial most of the time to keep quiet while shadowing my kids. Even before technology, I loved being the mom chauffeuring all the teens because I could listen when they all just thought I was unaware. I got to know the kids they were hanging with. Nothing kills their interaction like a mom who wants to be part of the group and begin conversing.

Same with Facebook, twitter, instagram and whatever else has been or will be invented. Yes, I'm all over my kids' lives (well, the two who are now adults get a reprieve :-) but those still in my home know that I'm ever present in their social media, even if I never comment. Their friends can only guess that I check walls, instagram, twitter and texts often.

And should I see something alarming, well, that's a conversation for another set of 1000 characters. :-)

sgbasham
January 10, 2013 4:51 p.m.

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who pays for her phone, computer etc. She will just have to like it. Bet some of the ones viewing wished their parents or guardians cared enough to post.

bjgupton
January 10, 2013 4:07 p.m.

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You did absolutely nothing wrong. I bet her friends thought it was sweet and probably wish deep down that their parents cared that much.

righthere1234
January 9, 2013 10:04 p.m.

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I've been an "in your face" mom for 33 years. I don't invade my childrens' space, but they always know I'm there. My kids and I comment on each others posts all the time. But I think my presence has kept them safe, they know I'm watching and so do their "friends". There's nothing wrong with what you did, I bet her friends' parents are doing the same thing you did, and probably a lot more.

ginnytess
January 9, 2013 4:57 p.m.

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Oh pshaw!! No faux pas was made!! You complimented your daughter. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. And even if she is at that "stage" where it's not cool to have your parents comment, she'll grow to appreciate the fact that you are proud of her!!! I say, comment-away!!

Rocknhorse
January 9, 2013 4:50 p.m.

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Yah...You have to be careful in commenting where their peers can see it and then belittle them. Hard to know what's "cool" and what's not.

oldrebel
January 9, 2013 4:35 p.m.

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I post comments on my daughter's photos frequently but I'm also aware I have a unique relationship with my daughter. If I find something inappropriate posted on her page I discuss it with her in person and help her take corrective action. I teach her not to "bare her soul" and "post all her business" on FB like I see a lot of her friends doing. So far she hasn't been upset at any of my comments. I hope that holds out. And I feel you should post occassionally so her friends do know you have an eye on what's going on with her. It does help keep them all straight.

Glass Half Full
January 9, 2013 4:05 p.m.

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My mom, aunts, uncles, and lots of family members frequently comment on pictures that my sister and I post on Facebook. Maybe we look at it differently now that we're in our twenties, but I'm glad that things I post make my mother proud and that she wants to show the pictures off to her friends and family!

ncsulilwolf
January 9, 2013 1:39 p.m.

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Your comments and monitoring are the price for her to play in social media. As others have noted, everyone else will see you've commented and that you are monitoring. It might save her from some pedophile or abuse from a bullying friend - you never know.

SaveEnergyMan
January 9, 2013 1:38 p.m.

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Jackie Hyland: Social media faux pas

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