How I prepared for finding "the one" and how you can too

Posted April 14

When I was 24 years old I met the love of my life, my husband.

It was something that was totally unexpected; I of course like many women out there hoped I would eventually find a man to spend forever with, but I was also content with the life I was living as a semi-unattached individual.

I was lucky enough to be at the right place at the right time, and bada-bing-bada-boom I realized that my husband was the person I should marry, and here we are.

Looking back, however, I realize that our relationship and marriage had a lot less to do with luck and a lot more to do with preparation.

So how do you prepare to find “the one?”

There are many things you can do to prepare yourself to be ready for when loves comes-a-knockin’, but here are a couple things that I found that helped me to be extra ready.

#1: I didn’t just sit around and expect love to drop in my lap

In a world filled with so much technology it can be easy to just sit at home online and pin things about our dream man instead of actually going out and meeting him.

I found that the only way you can actually meet a special man is to be in places or situations where you can find him.

Make new friends, join clubs, join a church group or book club, etc. The options are endless, and you will find that the more you put yourself out there the more likely you will find someone.

#2: I dated, A LOT

This refers to going on actual one-on-one dates and also being in relationships.

Now, I’m not saying I had five dates a night or anything like that, but I made sure to go on dates on a frequent basis.

This not only helped me to know what I wanted in a spouse, but it also helped to hone in on the things I didn’t want. Some dates were very fun, and others extremely awkward. But it gave me a lot of experiences I couldn’t have had anywhere else.

#3: I focused on me

I made sure to not be someone who jumped from relationship to relationship, but rather preferred to let myself be single and get to know myself.

This is a super important preparatory step to finding “the one” because I believe the only way you can truly and completely love somebody else is by loving yourself first.

I went on many adventures, took risks, worked towards my dreams, traveled, stayed home and did nothing, and many other things that I personally enjoyed. I feel like it helped me become a pretty well rounded person for when I met my now husband.

#4: I traveled

Speaking of traveling, I think that is a great preparation for finding the one.

I think there is a little bit of wanderlust in all of us, and I think it is important to experience new places and new cultures.

I still want to travel with my husband, but there is something very powerful about traveling with friends, family, or even by yourself.

#5: I learned from my past relationships

Being in a relationship can teach you so many things.

I have had the opportunity to be in a couple relationships before my husband, and some of them pretty serious.

Just like going on dates, my relationships taught me a lot about myself and also about the things I should and shouldn’t tolerate in a significant other, and I am grateful for each and every one of the people I learned them from.

Preparation can take many forms, and these things are just a few of the many I think can help you be prepared to find the one.

The most important thing to remember that not only does practice make perfect, but so does preparation.

Tamsyn Valentine is part of the content team at She graduated with a degree in communication with an emphasis in public relations and journalism. Tamsyn has written and edited for Scroll, BYU-Idaho's newspaper.


Please with your account to comment on this story. You also will need a Facebook account to comment.

Oldest First
View all