Growing up on a farm in Flint Hill, VA was difficult.  I formed some very strong opinions about becoming an adult.  In fact, I developed a personal mantra…I am not going to get married and I am never, ever going to have children.  Ever.

 

At 16, I moved out of my parents’ house and moved to Kent, CT.  This didn’t last long (6 mo.) as my car died.  I was too broke to fix it and I came back to VA, but this time moving to Burke, VA (a suburb of Fairfax).  After another 3 years in Burke, VA, I moved to Orlando, FL for 3 years and then to Hickory, NC for another 3 years.  I had dated over the years in these different states and developed a strict dating policy that I took with me to San Diego, CA. 

 

I would only go on double dates, there would be no kissing or hand-holding and there was no possible chance of a date unless you went to my church.  It may sound obnoxious, but the rules rarely meant that there would be a second date, which was great for a woman that was not interested in commitment.

 

It was during this stint in California, and under these rules and conditions, that I went on a date with Shawn.  One of the few men that I ever dated twice…the only man that went on a third date, a fourth, a fifth…and yes, the entire time with the rules firmly in place.

 

Shawn became one of my very best friends, melted my heart and we got married a year after we met.  (And, by the way, after he asked me to marry him, we did go on single dates...on occasion.)

 

We had planned on thinking about starting a family after our first 2 years of marriage.  We got pregnant after 2 months and I was terrified!  While I had in fact changed my mind about having children, it wasn’t any less scary… I didn’t grow up with a role model and had no idea, no clue how to be a mom. 

 

Enter our friends, Tim and Genene.

 

Tim told me to find a child that I wanted my child to be like, then introduce myself to the parents and ask if they would impart their ideas of parenting to me.  So I did just that and found three of the most wonderful boys a mother could hope to have.  They were fun, rough and tumble, grounded boys that listened when their mom spoke.  They were always respectful, but obviously loved their mom deeply. 

 

This is Jeanna.

 

Jeanna was a single mom and one of the most amazing mothers I have met in my entire life.  She laughed when I asked if she would be willing to help me, but in the end agreed that I could come to her house as often as I liked and she would see what she could do to help.

 

Watching Jeanna parent her children was a wonderful gift that I can never repay.

 

I now have 2 wonderful boys myself.  Steven was born in 1997 and Jacob was born in 1999.  They are amazing kids!  They are fun, rough and tumble, grounded boys who are also respectful, love their parents and are deeply loved.

 

I have been very happily married to Shawn since June of '96.  I'm a speaker, writer (for Women's Edge...also in the process of writing 3 books), and sales trainer.  But first and foremost, I always think of myself as a wife and mother.

 

I would like to use this blog to share with you my parenting experiences (the good, the bad and the ugly) and I welcome you to share yours. 

 

Individually, we’re not perfect and we don’t have all the answers. 

 

  Together, if the desire is there, we can all be better parents.

 

I hope you'll join me!

favorite music: badfinger, america, csn, beatles, carole king, etc... and the newest addition - the avett brothers

favorite movies: the gift, the fifth element, gone with the wind, lord of the rings, as good as it gets

favorite hobbies: music, woodworking & wine tastings

favorite tv shows: grey's anatomy, rules of engagement, the big bang theory, ninja warrior

favorite restaurants: sweet tomatoes, on the border, the ice cream shop in downtown apex, kanki, mellow mushroom

favorite vacation spots: cape hatteras, topsail beach, disney world