lookelou's blog

domestic partner rights in nc

 abuse

 Hello All,

As many of you know, I lost Gopanthers or John in April. I was finally named administrator of his estate. I finally found his mother that he was estranged from. He hadn't spoken to her in 4 years and hadn't seen her in 15 years. He claimed that he was physically abused when he was a child. He tried to build a better relationship with her but she was always indifferent.

Domestic partners do not have any rights in NC. John and I were together 18 years and how do you separate who bought what? When I called the so called mother, the first thing she asked was how much was the estate worth. She barely inquired about what happened to John.  

I told her that I wanted her to sign or gift everything over to me since she is next of kin by NC law. I am not included anywhere in that chain. She said am I FN crazy, she wanted it all and not be responsible for his debts. She told me to sell the house, cars, stocks/bonds, and cash out the bank accounts and send her all the monetary proceeds. 

She stated John and herself had a wonderful relationship. It wasn't until John met me that the began to have problems. She holds me responsible for everything. So now I have to give her everything and walk away. I have to be out of the house by January. In effect be homeless and carless. I told her that it was John's desire for me to receive everything and anyone could confirm that. She stated she didn't care what his desires were and I hadn't proved to her that he was dead. This is a prime example of why everyone needs a will.

Whether you support alternative lifestyles or not, Do you believe that it is fair for the partner to be left out of the estate procedures? Should a next of kin, even a mother, that did not have a relationship with the deceased be allowed to take the money and run?

There is nothing that I can do in the courts so I am just shi* out of luck. Please support equal rights for gay couples when it is time to vote again. Please contact your state representatives and let them know the importance of equal rights for everyone. This is not about whether to call it marriage or domestic partnership or whatever. It is only about equal rights for everyone. 

I can only express to everyone to also have a will prepared, whether married, single, in a relationship or whatever. Also please check with all your bank accounts and monetary funds that the bank or institution have a proper beneficiary forms. The bank lost John's, so I was out of luck with the bank accounts. The so called mother took everything and left me out in the cold.

What are your thoughts about equal rights for everyone?