APEX —
Test For The Perfect Husband - 1933
Found in the archives of the Minneapolis Star, a test to see just how good you (or yours) would be at being a husband - in 1933.
By the way, this test was assembled from responses offered by readers of the female persuasion. So, you know it is fair and balanced.
1933: What You Should Be
Part One: Demerits
- Stares at or flirts with other women while out with wife. (5 points)
- Reads newspaper at the table. (1)
- Fails to come to table promptly when meal is ready. (1)
- Brings guests home for meals without warning wife. (1)
- Doesn’t phone when late for dinner. (1)
- Compares wife unfavorably with his mother or other wives. (5)
- Publicly praises bachelor days and regrets having married. (1)
- Criticizes wife in public. (5)
- Belches without apology, or blows nose at table. (1)
- Leaves shoes in the living room. (1)
- Leaves dresser drawers open. (1)
- Snores. (1)
- Careless in bathroom – leaves razor out or ring around tub. (1)
- Fails to bathe or change socks often enough. (1)
- Fails to brush teeth regularly or keep nails clean. (1)
- Dislikes to dress or shave on Sunday. (1)
- Hangs ties or clothes on doorknobs. (1)
- Picks teeth, nose, or sucks on teeth when in public. (1)
- Objects to wife’s driving auto. (1)
- Uses profanity or vulgarity. (1)
- Blames wife for everything that goes wrong. (1)
- Complains of being too tired to go out at night with wife. (1)
- Is suspicious and jealous. (1)
- Uses alcohol. If ever drunk. (5)
- Tells lies, not dependable. (5)
Part Two: Merits
- Gives wife ample allowance or turns pay check over to her. (5)
- Courteous to wife’s friends. (1)
- Frequently compliments wife, re: looks, cooking, housekeeping, etc. (5)
- Remembers birthdays, anniversaries, etc. (5)
- Helps wife with dishes, caring for children, scrubbing, etc. (1)
- Polite and mannerly even when alone with wife. (1)
- Consults wife’s opinion, re: business and social affairs. (1)
- Has date with wife at least once per week. (5 per date)
- Reads newspaper, books or magazines aloud to wife. (1)
- A good conversationalist. (1)
- Steady worker and good provider. (5)
- Leaves car for wife on days she may need it. (1)
- Handy about the house, re: fixing iron, vacuum, hanging pictures, etc. (1)
- Enjoys taking wife along with him wherever he goes. (1)
- Doesn’t interfere with wife’s correction of the children. (1)
- Carries adequate insurance for family. (5)
- Doesn’t quarrel with wife before children or the public. (1)
- Makes guests feel welcome – an interesting entertainer. (1)
- Often tells wife he loves her. (5)
- Usually comes home with a smile. (1)
- Shares his business and personal problems with her. (1)
- Holds wife’s coat and opens doors for her. (1)
- Good humored in the morning. (1)
- Even-tempered. (1)
- Does not use tobacco. (1)
Note: Total possible demerits for quiz, 46. Total possible merits for quiz, 49 plus.
So, how do to today's hubbies measure up to the standards of the wives of 1933?
Heaven only knows what Sheba's going to give me on the scorecard.
