sandracarringtonsmith's blog

turning the other cheek

 abuse

I read something, a few days ago, about a guy who got robbed; when an armed young man walked up to him, he readily handed his wallet, but before the guy had a chance to flee with the loot, he gently asked him if he also wanted his coat.

“If you are doing this” he said “you must be in pretty dire need. Looking at you, I can see that you’re cold, too. Please accept my coat and know that I understand and wish you well.”

The thief was dumbstruck. He looked at the gentle man in front of him with a look of surprise on his face, and the only words he could utter were: “Why are you doing this?”

“Because” said the man “if you are taking such a chance, you need this money more than I do.”

Reading this article reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend a few years ago. We had gone together grocery shopping and I had left all my groceries in the car while we went to grab a slice of pizza from a restaurant nearby. When she saw that I didn’t lock my car, she asked if I wasn’t concerned that someone would come and take the groceries out. My response to her was similar to that of the man who was robbed in the street. “If they need groceries that badly, that they are willing to take such a chance in daylight, they need those groceries more than I do.”

Yesterday, my wallet was stolen. Per se, it wasn’t a huge loss, as I rarely carry any cash; the biggest hassle was to call credit card companies to cancel the stolen cards, and facing spending part of my day, on Monday, fighting the infamous lack of speed of the DMV to get a new license. Either than that, my loss was minimal.

At first I was upset and angry. How dared this person take something that belonged to me? The worst part – although it is all circumstantial assumptions – is that the culprit might be someone I considered a friend. If I’m right, and this person took my wallet, something must be wrong. This person does NOT need money. Could there be a deeper reason why she felt compelled to do this? Could she be sick?

So, it dawned on me that my anger was wasted. Not only was it not going to bring me the wallet back; also, this person had lost a lot more than I did. I lost a few pieces of plastic and a couple of hours of my time, but she lost respect for herself, trust from me, and she will, eventually, be haunted by her own guilt and fear to be exposed.

So I’m just going to sit here and wait. Of course, I cancelled my cards and reported the theft to the police. Will I be able to forgive this person if it turns out she really did it? Probably so. Likely, I won’t trust her as I did before, but I will remember that for a mistake she made one day, she will have to live with the guilt and shame of what she did the rest of her life. I think that’s punishment enough.