sandra carrington-smith: blog 
sandracarringtonsmith's blog
holding on to faith
Published Oct. 7, 2008
Last night I had a strange dream. I was driving down some unknown road, and suddenly I came upon a road block. I got out of the car to see what the problem was, and saw a table set up on the side of the road, with a small fish bowl in the middle. Inside the bowl the water was very murky, but a small orange goldfish was still alive in it. It looked undernourished, but very much alive. When I picked up the bowl, the fish flipped and almost came out of the water, so I ran to get some fresher water and some food for him. I figured it would take some time to bring the tiny creature back to its prime, but with good food, a little TLC and the appropriate amount of time everything would be alright.
Then I woke up. I lied in bed awake for a while, wondering what on God’s green earth the dream was about. I began to speculate what the fish might symbolize for me, and why the little fellow was stuck in such a bad place, not conducive to its growth.
I thought about faith. Could it be it? Has my faith faltered during this time of hardship for our country? Maybe a little.
I was raised to be very driven by the power of Spirit, and have always felt reassured that things will, somehow, work themselves out.
I think lately, as many others have, I have been unknowingly thrust into the vacuum of anxiety which has enshrouded our world. Not entirely, mind you, but I have found myself wondering what will happen. I think that all the hatred spewed around the political race, the failing economic situation and the general anxiety which has greatly been exploited by the media have taken a toll on most of us.
I woke up this morning with a different type of resolve: I am claiming back my full faith. No longer will I get wrapped into the ugliness of things, if I can help it, and I will once again “know” that everything is going to be alright. Somehow, things will find the path to straighten up, and all the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place.
I don’t believe in coincidences, and know that everything happens for a reason. We have come to associate our self-worth to material possessions, but have now come to a crossroad where we need, once again, to shed that notion.
Spirit is known by many names, depending on the tradition one follows, but the essence of It remains the same. Spirit is ever present to hold our hand and lead us out of the dark cave we have, halfway consciously, trapped ourselves into.
We will survive the hardship and, because of it, we will be better people. We only need to believe and reach out to one another, rather than isolating ourselves. We just need to nourish our faith a little more, and fish it back out of the murky water it has survived into.
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GOLO member since October 4, 2007
October 7, 2008 3:29 p.m.
GOLO member since October 2, 2008
October 7, 2008 1:47 p.m.
GOLO member since August 28, 2008
October 7, 2008 1:34 p.m.
I never realized that I couldn't do it by myself, and once I have put my faith and trust out there, answers to life seemed to appear easier.
The answers aren't always clear and concise, but they are there, and if you work your way through a murky bowl of fish water, there may be a little clearer one on the other side.
GOLO member since September 17, 2008
October 7, 2008 12:01 p.m.
I would write things out, make a plan that would look good on paper, and look achievable. I would pray that I would be led in the right direction, do the right things to make it happen. It never failed, something would get in my way, or I would get injured. I would get frustrated and mad and feel like a failure.
One day when things were so dim & dark, I met with my pastor. He finally was able to get me to see that my prayers were being answered, just not in the way that I was requesting them to be.
Since that day, I walked away from the past, and am living for the future. Yes, it's hard, it was not the future that I thought & hoped for, but it will be a better one than I ever imagined once I get through this turmoil.
Some believe & some don't. I always will though
GOLO member since September 17, 2008
October 7, 2008 11:56 a.m.
GOLO member since September 17, 2008
October 7, 2008 11:47 a.m.
GOLO member since March 7, 2008
October 7, 2008 11:45 a.m.
GOLO member since August 28, 2008
October 7, 2008 11:33 a.m.
We do not understand what dreams are or the purpose they serve but there is no evidence to suggest that they are clairvoyant or magical. Though I think they are useful and should be paid attention to.
GOLO member since March 7, 2008
October 7, 2008 11:23 a.m.
GOLO member since August 28, 2008
October 7, 2008 10:50 a.m.
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