iamforjustice: blog 
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why women shouldn't take us men shopping
Published Jul. 25, 2008
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday
my dear wife received the following letter
from the local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our Video surveillance cameras.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when
they weren't looking.
July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares
to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the women's restroom.
July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares.
Get on it right away.'
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and
tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR'
sign to a carpeted area.
August 15: Set up a tent in the camping
Department and told other shoppers he'd
invite them in if they would bring pillows
and blankets from the bedding department.
August 23: When a clerk asked if they could
help him he began crying and screamed,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
September 4: Looked right into the security
Camera and used it as a mirror while he
picked his nose.
September 10: While handling guns in the
hunting department, he asked the clerk
where the antidepressants were .
October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
'Mission Impossible' theme.
October 6: In the auto department,
he practiced his 'Madonna look' by
using different sizes of funnels.
October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and
When people browsed through, yelled
'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO!
IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least.
October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
Door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly,
'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here."
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GOLO member since September 15, 2007
August 7, 2008 7:18 a.m.
That is rich!ROTFLOL
July 26, 2008 2:37 p.m.
GOLO member since December 15, 2007
July 26, 2008 9:55 a.m.
GOLO member since May 23, 2008
July 25, 2008 5:06 p.m.
GOLO member since July 20, 2007
July 25, 2008 4:59 p.m.
GOLO member since July 3, 2007
July 25, 2008 4:32 p.m.
(I was looking for the throwing water balloons at hookers portion but I didnt' see that one,,,wonder where they picked that one up?)
GOLO member since July 20, 2007
July 25, 2008 4:29 p.m.
GOLO member since July 3, 2007
July 25, 2008 4:25 p.m.
GOLO member since December 21, 2007
July 25, 2008 4:23 p.m.
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