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tech talk: blog

tech talk's blog


a little fun for the end of the week

by faith trust and pixie dust
Published Jul. 23, 2008

Call 1
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

Call 2
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No . Wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry....

Call 3
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

Call 4
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates. -

Call 5
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Call 6
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

Call 7
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

Call 8
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

Call 9
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

Call 10
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech? support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

Call 11
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

Call 12
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Call 13
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

Call 14
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

Call 15
Tech support: "Okay, Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT! 



11 Comments


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rotflol

Welcome to my old world. Computers have been in the workplace for over 25 years now, and you would think that they showed up last Christmas.

ROFL!!! Hard to believe that some people can get a drivers license and can't turn a computer on. Thanks for the early morning laughs. I needed that.

Pixie, I trust that these are actual calls that you have gotten & that's the real reason that you love your job.

First thing in the morning and my ribs hurt! Not to mention the the coffee through the nose trick! Thanks Steph

These are sooo funny.

I had the hardest time with a customer who was installing a program and was stuck at the point that the message on the screen said "Press Any Key to Continue". He said he had found the Enter key, the Shift key, the Tab key and named several others....but for the life of him he could not find an "Any" key on his computer!

LOL - my favorite is the one where the person is trying to get the computer powered up and the Tech asks them to check to see if the computer is plugged in....the person replies... the power's out I can't see it! DOH!!!!

well someone actually called in a little while ago and asked "is it true that people steal expensive electronics out of college dorm rooms" He said that he was getting ready to go to college and wanted to buy a stereo system...

I wanted really bad to tell him to get his mother on the phone and plead not to send him away...he does not have a clue!!! LOL

my pets think i have really lost it...this is too funny!

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