djofraleigh's blog

more valuable than the nytimes editorial page - comedians

 abuse

Bush is stupid,

McCain is old,

Obama isn’t made fun of,

Hillary is angry, Bill is chasing women

And add the Jesse Jackson-word

These jokes are predictably one sided, slanted, or with bias, but they have a stronger influence on voters opinion than editorial pages.  

McCain is too old jokes

"Today's New York Times has once again raised the issue that John McCain may not be eligible to be President because he is not a natural born U.S. citizen. Apparently, McCain was born outside of the 13 colonies." --Conan O'Brien

"John McCain also in the news. At a campaign event yesterday, John McCain refused to answer any questions about Viagra. That's what he said. Yeah, mainly cause all the Viagra questions came from his wife, Cindy. 'We should just try, just a little.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Barack Obama's daughters were interviewed for 'Access Hollywood, and now, right after they did the interview, Obama says he regrets allowing them to be interviewed for television. Says he regrets it. Yeah, John McCain says he also regrets allowing his daughters to be interviewed on television, take a look [on-screen: Two elderly women looking in camera, one with a walker. The other says 'We're voting for Truman!' as her 'sister' smiles and nods)." --Conan O'Brien

"Actually, you know what's interesting, here's some interesting political trivia for you. The last time that the Democrats had their convention in Denver was when they nominated William Jennings Bryant in 1908. And coincidentally, you know who the Republican nominee was that year? John McCain. It's amazing." --Jay Leno

"Of course, a nasty heat wave gripping most of the nation. In fact, it was so hot today John McCain offered a $300 million prize to the first person who could develop a prune Slurpee." --Jay Leno

"McCain, of course, also out there. In Denver, a 60 year-old woman was kicked out of a John McCain rally for heckling him. Yeah, afterwards McCain said 'I'm just not popular with young women.'" --Conan O'Brien

Obama jokes, well he is  honorably mentioned

"The other day the plane that Barack Obama was on had some mechanical difficulties and was forced to land. Well, the National Transportation Safety Board did an inspection on the plane, and you know what they found? The bolts on the plane were fine, but apparently Jesse Jackson had taken some of the nuts off." --Jay Leno

"Jesse Jackson is now apologizing to Barack Obama for some extremely crude comments he made about Obama after an interview on Fox News. Jackson didn't know the microphone was on and he said some nasty stuff. So yet another reverend Obama has to distance himself from. What is this, this guy has the worst luck with preachers of anybody I know! Oh man!" --Jay Leno

"Well now, they're now investigating why Barack Obama's loaner charter jet had mechanical problems the other day. Remember, he had to make an emergency stop in St. Louis. ABC News says the jet was previously used by Hillary Clinton. See, so Hillary let Barack borrow her plane and it had problems -- I wonder what that was all about!" --Jay Leno

"The Democratic party announced this week that Barack Obama will give his acceptance speech at an 80,000-seat stadium, and that they will not serve fried food at the Democratic convention. Those are the two things they announced. Yeah, which begs the question: where are they gonna find 80,000 Americans who don't eat fried food? It's not gonna happen." --Conan O'Brien

"See, that shows you the difference between the two parties, the Democrats have nothing fried, the Republicans like everything covered in oil, so you have a real choice." --Jay Leno

"Well, the Democrats are now preparing for their convention in Denver, and they have hired the first ever director of greening. They say that this year that everything about their convention will be green, including nominating a candidate who's only been a senator for a couple of years." --Jay Leno

links to  more jokes about:

President Bush.   Jesse Jackson    Hillary Clinton