allison842: blog 
allison842's blog
point of marriage
Published May. 29, 2008
I don't want to talk about same-sex marriage. There has already been a lot of talk about that. But in light of the recent legal developments regarding it, I think the crucial question is:
What exactly is the purpose of marriage in today's society?
I know that back in the day, people will say that the purpose of marriage was to have a relationship where people could procreate. But that is most certainly not the point of marriage today, is it? You do not have to bear children to be granted a marriage license. You do not have to promise to do so. People who are 75 years old and essentially incapable of producing offspring are still allowed to take their vows. So that one is out.
So then perhaps it is for the family. But people are allowed to have a family (children) without being married. They are allowed to produce offspring, be civil to one another and even friendly and maybe even romantic, split the responsibilities, and churn out perfectly healthy and normal kids even if they are divorced or were never married. (Perfectly healthy and normal is all relative of course. Married people can produce just as messed up children as non-marrieds can.) And people are allowed to marry and still completely destroy their families. It is not a requirement that you have a good family to be recognized as married.
So is it for love and committment? Of course people can get married for any reason that they want to. They do not have to provide proof of their devotion to anyone, at least not legally. Some churches require counseling/mentoring before marriage, but nobody has to get married through a church. I think love and committment ought to be the purpose of marriage, but it obviously is not a requirement. And people marry for money, fame, security, citizen status, etc. every day.
So then is the purpose of marriage to get legal benefits? That seems to be the only thing all marriages have in common, from what I can tell. All the legal perks that come with being recognized as married to someone are certainly a positive reason to marry. Hospital visits, filing joint taxes, land inheritence, etc.
But seriously. Without getting into the same-sex marriage debate PLEASE, what do you think the PURPOSE of marriage is in today's society?
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Apparently you didn't study law at Carolina. Exactly where did you come up with this "required separation of church and State"? From some news article or something you heard at the water fountain? "Separation of church and State" doesn't exist except in ignorant rhetoric.
GOLO member since February 28, 2008
May 30, 2008 12:09 p.m.
GOLO member since March 13, 2008
May 30, 2008 10:13 a.m.
Exactly! Overheard my “Christian” sister-in-law praising some politician because he was against gay marriage. Yet this same lady is the one that let my niece’s boyfriend move in (i.e. shack up), against my brother’s wishes, so she could have better access to her illegitimate grandchild.
GOLO member since August 16, 2007
May 30, 2008 9:01 a.m.
You never did answer my question – what do you personally lose, if gays marry legally? Would you lose your job; would you have to go hungry; would you have sleep outside in the freezing cold or oppressive heat; would you be reduced to wearing torn and ragged clothes – all because one group of our society was legally allowed to show the world that they were committed to another person?
What do you lose?
GOLO member since December 20, 2007
May 29, 2008 7:49 p.m.
As far as the reference to you being the almighty power over who get to be married and who doesn't - your own words imply that you do indeed see yourself in this position.
Yes, we have laws in this country; some make sense, some don't and some are very antiquated and should be removed from the books. I stand firm in my statement - YOU have NO RIGHT to dictate to others how they conduct their personal relationships, run their lives – sexually, physically, ethically, morally, economically OR SPIRITUALLY.
GOLO member since December 20, 2007
May 29, 2008 7:49 p.m.
Judging is exactly what you are doing; you have positioned yourself as judge & jury for a minority group whom you find disgusting and unworthy of existing. Since you cannot exterminate them as Hitler tried to do with the Jews, be it within your personal power, you would single-handedly deny innocent people a simple happiness - a legal marriage.
GOLO member since December 20, 2007
May 29, 2008 7:48 p.m.
And don't equate the gay agenda with the civil rights movement, that is insulting to what blacks went through simply because of the color of the skin they were born with. I wouldn't say the civil rights movement tried to redefine society, only to do exactly what is in biblical teaching, which is to treat everyone equally because all are made in God's image. The difference with the gay lifestyle choice is it's clearly called a sin in the Bible.
But I don't expect non Christians to agree with that or the fact that you can love the sinner and hate the sin.....Because I am a sinner like eveyr other human being-I'm not judging them.
Anyway, for real, I'm out of here, but it was a good discussion!!
May 29, 2008 6:08 p.m.
Never said I did, but that's funny, because the gay minority says they alone have the right to change the definition of marriage that has been in place for thousands of years when there is something available to them now.
"You can say anything you like; you can feel anyway you want to feel, but you do not have the right to dictate to others how they should conduct their relationships and live their lives."
Oh, people can ABSOLUTELY dictate to others how to live their lives- it's called LAW!!! So to think we have an absolute free will to live how we want in our society is naive and plain old wrong!! We must follow the rules and laws of society and can't change them for a ridiculously small minority just because they want to, can make a big stink about it, and call everyone intolerant bigots who don't agree with them!!
May 29, 2008 6:05 p.m.
And God always called it sin. Just because someone in the Bible did something, it doesn't mean it was permissable.
"It's about property, taxes, love, partnership and building a stronger family unit that can only make our society stronger."
ANd most of that can be accomplished by the gay community WITHOUT marriage.... And a gay couple having a child doesn't guarantee a stronger family unit, just as it doesn't guarantee it if a heterosexual couple has children.
"Please tell me because I don't see where ANY OF US would lose a thing except bigotry!"
I would lose the traditional meaning of marriage if it were cheapened to include any adults who want to be married. Like I said, they can have a civil union and it wouldn't change the definition of an institution of a major religion. If marriage is considered religious based, why would the gays want it anyway??
May 29, 2008 6:02 p.m.
Like everything else, I think the concept of marriage is an evolved one. If we wiped the institution away today, people would still follow a natural progression of attraction and bonding. While we still have a promiscuous streak, forming a good environment for raising children requires commitment and a stable relationship. In a social group there is recognition when a pair had bonded...the beginnings of the social contract of marriage. Probably due more to maternal instincts, women typically are more keen on wanting to formalize a union with a legal marriage. This committed relationship is (and has been) so important to us, we have constructed everything around it. The legal and community property aspects of it, etc. Not all humans can manage to be monogamous - hence the high divorce rate, but for many, (myself included) marriage is very fulfilling. It's an institution we created, and it's ours to define!
GOLO member since March 18, 2008
May 29, 2008 6:00 p.m.
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