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strolling bones: blog

strolling bones


that really hurts!

Published May. 17, 2008

how did it go?  the appointment was at 12:15 pm. for extraction of molar #3.  no biggie...i get there....few people waiting...o wait one of those people is a lady friend of my son's.  my son refuses to answer all my personal question about this relationship with the young lady...she has a child from her first marriage.  her appt was at 11:30 am and it is now close to one...the waiting room is like this....door opens..nurse calls someones name..and the other people in room...exhale in relief. normally, i would not wait ...45 minutes at a doctors office but hey...oral surgeons...he can take his time..well finally they call me in....i am fine...no biggie...i know he is gonna cut my gun ...no biggie...i sit down, i notice the music is loud in the room  and his nurse begins to rattle off thing that could go wrong...no biggie..so he comes in....first he give you the local on the swab then the shots...well one is no biggie....right side of mouth...then he does the inside roof of mouth...i simply scream (now understanding the need for the loud music) and begn to crawl up the chair...which cause a lot of the stuff in the neddle to splash in my mouth...they leave so i can numb they come back...lol...well i am not quite numb on inside of mouth so i get another shot...which hurts...but i am cool..then he starts with...this is what...we are going to do today...and mentions drilling....hold up here...no one mentioned drilling and we are not gonna drill....i would rather have you cut the gum than drill..his reply...."o we are going to do that too"..did i mention they teether you to the chair...with a suction hose just in case you were thinking of making a last minute run for it...so he begins..with a shoe horn thing of torture...then drills...i am not balling up in the fetal position with his nurse trying to control my bottom chin.  he pulls he prys he drills...he breaks stuf...blood is everywhere..he trys not to show me that...but ya kinda notice...finally the tooth is out....and he stitches ...its over....he gives me perocet..and tells me he gave me 2 more than last time....omg be still my heart...i ask him for 30...a good round number...he goes..."that is not going to happen"  so yes i am alive..thanks for asking..



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I once suggested to my dentist, that he show porn to distract the pain. After considering the matter even more, I decided it could do irreparable psychological damage. When I sat down in his newly remodeled office, I noticed the large flat screen HD TVs staring at me from the ceiling. On it was the Fox News channel. I could only close my eyes and turn up Von Williams and Mozart.....

Oh Yes! How oh so familiar! LOL at the beginning to crawl up the seat, HA! and when they say just relaxxxxx, and breath through your nose. Do you need to spit? NO! I'm choking! relaxxxxx, it's okkkkk. Please calm down. How many years does one get for slapping the carp out of the assistant! Sorry for your pain Bones. But, hey enjoy the percocets! Yeah, and next time hold out for the Demerol, they make percocets seem like tylenol! Take care and remember don't smoke or drink hot drinks or chew ice or eat that really big nice piece of T-bone steak from the grill, or lord forbide have sex! These things will give you a impact something or the other, I can't remember I was doped up when all the warnings were being given out!

...a pair of Vuarnet mountain climbing goggles and a powerful CD player help as well...

...I'd gnaw on a couple of Oxys, but I'm afraid of becoming a ditto head....

...ya gotta go for the Demerol...

o black...most of the pain was self induced..this guy is good...i had been to him before...the sound of the drill...makes me crazy...plus that light ....burns on your retinas...i assure you he gave me enough pain stuff....he just wouldnt go for 30 lol which is totally acceptable...perc are a class 2 narcotic..strong than vics..which dont work on me...funny how bodies are...my friends swear by vics...they just leave my skin crawing and still in pain...but then i am also...polycarb sensitive..

...it's the truth about my autonomic reflexes. Once while getting a chest tube, the doctor gave me 7 grains of morphene IV. I watched in fascination as he drew the scalpel across my chest cutting through the muscle in my pectoral. But when the catheter was being inserted into my intercostal....I grabbed the surgeons necktie and collar, giving a definite twist. The surgeon replied..."I can't work like this", in a wheezing tone. To which I replied, "I know"..."I want more morphene..." To which he asked "Are you strung out?"...I said, "No, but now is a good time to be..." 3 grains more, and five orderlies later, he completed his duty....The point is...There is no need for pain with the pharmeceuticals available today...

Bones, you truly have my sympathy and I hope you are doing well .. but your blog was hilarious!

Glad to hear you made it out alive! Enjoy those percocets!!!

...Bones...you have my sympathy. I just had 14 surgical extractions due to a trauma. But wait, the real trauma came when the 7 or 8 injections in the roof or palate. They gave me nitrous, and that was after self medicating with enough clonazapan to make a Rolex sleep. The last time I had root canals, I requested demerol. And Nitrous...plus the locals. Why so much dope ?...To prevent my autonomic reflexes from hurting all parties within reach. Did it prevent the pain effect ? No, but I was in no condition to put up much of a fight. This last time, I didn't get a prescription ahead of time. I suppose the arm rests will have to be replaced with much larger fasteners. My headphones were filling my head with Von Williams to relax me. The next time I'm playing Mountain and Led Zep with enough opiates to put an elephant on its ask. I wish I could get general anesthesia, but they say it's too risky. When I autonomicly grab their throat...we'll see what's risky.

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