Golo
tarheel army mom: blog


ladies...this might come in handy

Published May. 15, 2008

Dear [____rejectee`s name here_____],
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:
[Check all those that apply]
___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.
___ Your last name is objectionable. I can`t imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald`s reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.
___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.
___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can`t GET into my pants.
___ Your "Putting on a few, aren`t you babe?" comment, given the 9-months pregnant size of your beer gut, was inappropriate.
___ You failed the credit check.
___ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
___ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
___ You still live with your parents.
___ You mention your ex-girlfriend`s name more than you mention mine.
___ Three words: Size does matter.
Sincerely,
[Your name here]



30 Comments


Golo

Welcome to GOLO, where WRAL.com visitors can comment on stories and create profile pages, blogs and photo galleries.

You must be a registered WRAL.com user to use these tools. Click here to register or log in.



page 1 | 2
<prev    next>
sort order: oldest first | newest first

Well, yes and no. But we'll just leave it at that. :)~

Oh no you didn't go there -- LOL omg LOL

Ummmm...yeah, I did....Am I lying though??? lol

hal...you are funny! :P

STILL says it's how ya wiggle that worm...lol Packy aka Kracka

Oh no you didn't go there -- LOL omg LOL

You didn't have to list them ALL!

haha!!

;-D

yeah I hear ya gagsta

Hey you knows that how we get down in the ghetto.

yr-HUH? you're such a thug! lol

I have been on youtube trying to find this dang song for like 30 minutes because I couldn't remember it! FINALLY found it! thought I'd share that! lol

lol @ yeahright...I bet!!!

I have a wide assortment of wife beaters to match my mood. I have my Dinner betta be ready when I walk in da door beater, my don't you eva talk back at me again beater, and my generic is you flippin crazy beater.

page 1 | 2
<prev    next>
sort order: oldest first | newest first

Please log in to add comment.

most recent
   blogs    galleries    profiles    groups    popular  

bin laden been to the labor pick-up zone

Let's see, one of the world's most secretive and secluded terrorist hired guys off the street to drive,...

nauseous names

"Monkey Junction" ... southern part of Wilmington NC.   There is a lot of local history tied to this name.

still wanting a vegemite sandwich

This was one of those nonsensical songs that we danced and sang during our first summer together....

a little fun for the end of the week

Call 1 Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female...

nauseous names

How about Booger Mountain in Ashe County?

immigrant's arrest strands children on nc highway

An advocacy group is questioning whether police acted properly when they left three children in a...

california telephone poll

  The latest telephone poll, taken by the California Governor's office, asked whether people...

rush hour karting, lets go golo

http://www.rushhourkarting.com/  Serious...

and then the fight started.........

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for  Social Security. The...

my marriage

Because of an accident in 2003 this is what went wrong with my marriage. Some of my friends have said...

   blogs    galleries    profiles    groups    popular  

profile of nashvegas

Raleigh native living in Nashville, TN

profile of wuffpackz

My other personality speaks too.

profile of the slammer

"All Crime All The Time"

profile of crystalswisher

I have no personal statement other than "Ain't life funny."

profile of j roddy

Living, Working and Playing in Raleigh

profile of purplesrose

live.laugh.love lie.cheat.steal.

   blogs    galleries    profiles    groups    popular  

paranormal enthusiasts group (19 members)

This is a group for those of us who are interested in the paranormal and all that entails.  Below...

nfl fans (23 members)

NFL football Fans who wish to discuss the upcoming season. Trash Talking is allowed but with in reason.

heelsfansnotinnc (1 member)

For anyone who is a Tar Heel but not currently living in the Tar Heel State.

boaters sailors and kayakers 4 u (1 member)

Those who have an interest in boating, sailing or kayaking. Places to go and things to see!

brides-to-be (8 members)

Are you planning a wedding or close to having one? Is your mother or mother-in-law driving you insane?...

no parking signs (1 member)

    get rid of the no parking signs near umstead park 

geocachers of the triangle (1 member)

This is a place where cachers can come to discuss interesting caches in the Triangle and also a...

the no drama zone (15 members)

internet crimes against children (6 members)

The purpose of this group is to educate people on the ongoing issue of Internet Crimes Against Children. ...

the book shelf (4 members)

   blogs    galleries    profiles    groups    popular  

profile of gpcherokee

The courts say "innocent until proven guilty", the media  says "guilty until proven innocence".

profile of wonder bubbles

What do you think of Zero's picture?    ♥XOXO♥...

profile of steve crisp

I tell people that I know everything, and if I should not know something, I know where to look it up....

profile of dayum sessy

Golo Birthday Bash for Sessy and Naughty Monkey, MYRTLE BEACH STYLE BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...

profile of sue donym

  "Life deals you a lot of lessons.  Some people learn from it, some people...

profile of godschild43

I believe that God is the way the truth and light. Always live by him.

profile of strolling bones

Click on the shrooms.   Mad...