Golo
brooklyn: blog

bklynncmom's blog


just be glad you're not married to him!

Published Jan. 23, 2008

This is why Suzy should not take Mike shopping against

his will.

After Mike retired, Suzy insisted Mike

accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

Unfortunately, Mike was like most men---he found

shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Suzy was like most

women---she loved to browse.

One day Suzy received the following letter from

her local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Leonardos,

Over the past six months, your husband has been

causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot

tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both

of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are documented by our video

surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly

put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to

go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor

leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in

an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it

right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to

put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign

to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping

department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in

if they would bring pillows and blankets from the

bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could

help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you

people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera

and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting

department, he asked the clerk where the

antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously

while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced

his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels

(on the upper part of his chest, of course).

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when

people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the

loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed

'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least...

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the

door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!

There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards,

Wal-Mart



10 Comments


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2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals

rofl sounds like something my husband would do

dito

remarkable

for what?

i saw this before, boy he was keepin busy at wally world! :)

sorry.

w0rd!

splendid

Awesome.

FUNNY!!

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